My trip to Schiller Park for the Chicago Invite (the colder, ironically less cool version of the Stanford Invite) was much less shameful, I'll tell you that much.
Saturday morning was gloomy, and cold, and windy -- shit was rough, essentially.
Unfortunately for Loyola (now Sirens, formerly Bogus), we would be making things even rougher. We started the day in zone, and it wasn't pretty -- for us, not them. Bringing yet another reduced roster to this tournament, our cup roster took a big hit, and because we were playing sloppy, we had to work that much harder. The cup was pooped, in short. With our zone not working, we switched it up to man, and it was over then -- Loyola didn't have a chance. We ended up winning in comfortable fashion, 13-3.
Melissa took home the spirit disc for this game for continually tooling people and just making them look plain foolish. During this game, someone on Loyola yelled to an on-field teammate that Melissa was guarding that "you're faster than her!", which made me and Ashley shit ourselves with laughter. ACTUALLY, Melissa runs warm-up miles faster than everyone on the team, and then goes on to beat everyone in the track workout. Melissa could do incline sit-ups with 50lbs behind her neck and then get up and beat you by at least half a lap in the 400. Melissa could outsquat Goose and then come to practice and run circles around everyone on the field and then go back to the gym afterwards and squat some more.
Anyway, after that girl said that chump was faster than Melissa, Malicious (a nickname Team China, or Team Asia minus MaryKim, came up with at Texas Throwdown) proceeded to kill her on every in-cut, beat her deep every time, and dominated her on defense, and the above photo was taken. Don't mess, bro.
The next game was against UIC Haterade.
Since our cup wasn't ready to come out yet in game one, we decided to bring it out in this game, and it worked out pretty well. Despite having some skilled handlers, UIC just didn't have the downfield players to hang with us, and we beat them, 13-7.
This game saw the utter obliteration of my goals set for the weekend, when I had one of the worst rage blackouts to date, set off by disrespect towards our cup. GOODNESS that made me angry. During this game, I also ran into a pick-up on my church tournament team, G-SPOT, who UNSURPRISINGLY, was just as annoying, if not more so, than he was this past summer. Good GOD. At first I thought he was the UIC coach or something, turns out he's just an annoying groupie. He not only helped himself to our chair and blankets, but he also asked some of us to form a wind wall for him. Wow. Hey, how about you DON'T BE A PUSSY, THANKS.Goodness, I'm filled with rage.
Anyway, our day would not get easier, as our third match-up of the day was Michigan State Infamous. This team featured a janky Asian coach, a speedy red-gloved receiver, as well as Kim Sabo, a Mr. Briefcase player (heretofore referred to as Ms. Briefcase). We switched off this game between our zone and man defenses, forcing MSU to adjust. They answered back with some really nice puts by Ms. Briefcase, most of which were thankfully just out of reach of their receivers. In the end they couldn't keep up with us, 13-6.
Oh, and Northwestern didn't come and shit themselves with fear during their bye, but Debbie, Tracy, and Shawn came to watch, which was better anyway! At the end of the game, we all piled into our cars and drove to Dunkin Donuts for some eats and hot chocolate.We returned to the cold fields to await the loser of the North Park/Northwestern game. With Tracy's help, North Park pulled it out, and our final game of the day was a crossover game with Northwestern, a matchup I had been long awaiting. Sadly, it didn't really live up to my expectations. Despite a solid effort from their handlers, Northwestern didn't bring it the way I had thought they would. We beat them 13-1.
With a successful Saturday over and done with, we hurried back to Dunleavy's to drink hot chocolate and then to not shower (not a typo) before heading out to Devon to feast on Indian food. After our tasty meal, we walked a few cold blocks to go look at boobs (Mahboob, to be exact) and THE MaryKim's house. YEAH, I SAW IT. GLORIOUS, LET ME TELL YOU.
We closed out the night with a second viewing of "Once", which I highly recommend, and set off to bed with dreams of Sunday domination in our heads.We woke up even earlier on Sunday morning and made it to the fields at 8:30, only to encounter some opposition from some candy-ass flag football players who sucked anyway, and subsequently had to wait while they moved our fields so the flag football players could grasp daintily at flags hanging from the hips of other manly men. I MEAN SERIOUSLY. Not that flag football isn't difficult, but if you're going to kick us off our fields, at least tackle each other and then make each other eat shit and other ludicrous things like that, geez.
After a delay, we began our day against the Kalamazoo Queen Bees. Unfortunately for them, we would be unrelenting. Even though our cup couldn't get a Callahan, our defense still wouldn't let them score. Despite some sloppy play on our part, we were able to end the game early and run to our cars to warm up after a 13-0 Billy Blank-ing. I would just like to point out that MaryKim played some SICK RIDICULOUS DEFENSE and was probably the most active handler I have ever seen in my life. What I mean to say is that Mary stood there as wing, looked back to see if her girl was still there, which she was, and then she stood there some more. MaryKim boiled defense down to an art, she was so good at it. On offense, as third handler, she was ready, stationary, with her hands in her pocket should she be called to duty. Goodness, MARYKIM FCP I'M SO PROUD.
After a brief respite from the cold, we took the fields yet again to face Michigan State. This game ended much the same as the first, identical score and everything. At first Infamous was able to keep it close, and we traded points, something we were doing a lot early in games this whole tournament. But then, we started pulling away, much to the dismay of their janky coach, who was absolutely livid. We would get the better of them again, 13-6.
The championship game was another rematch, as we faced UIC Haterade again for the title. Even though our offense wasn't exactly clicking on all cylinders, our defense was able to generate turns, and we would win the game and the tournament, 13-6. The tournament was a great deal of fun, with stolen pocketfuls of candy, rage blackouts from me and Catherine, some ridiculously raucous cheering, and more additions to the MaryKim Fan Club.
And so with one fell swoop, we swept the competition at Chicago Invite. Champions. Sounds nice, and it sure feels nice to win again, after a whole month or so without some green on score reporter.
Ah, the sweetness of domination.
We then headed to "Jennifer"'s house to watch the Illini get straight trounced by Wisconsin in the Big Ten Championship (eh, they had a good run), and had a good natured Ping Pong Tournament, which Team Asia dominated.
It's okay, we don't have to argue about it. Asians are just better at ping pong. No, seriously, it's innate.Anyway, I'm going to wait a day or so more before I announce the winner of Baller Bids, because just when I was about to declare a winner another vote came in, so I'll hold off for any stragglers. But what is for certain though, is that Meg pretty obviously wins for best quotes of the weekend.
A little while later, on the line, Meg goes, "I smoke crack all day!" in an attempted allusion to Nick Swardson's genius work of art. It was hilarious. We were like, "Meg you can't smoke crack all day, you'd die."
At some point, she also told Tania to "get that cock out of [her] ass", so I think all in all it's been a very good weekend for Meg and the English language. I wanna be like Meg.
As much as I wanted to go and I tried hard to find my way to Centex, I won't be able to attend this weekend. It's a huge bummer and it pains me -- PAINS ME -- but I'll deal with it. The men's side seems easy enough -- I'm picking Wisconsin, no if's, and's, or but's about it. I know I should be pulling for my own school and everything, but I just can't in my right mind pick against a team that is just flat out that good. The Hodags are the best, and until someone can beat them, then they're still the best, simple as that. As for the women's side, it's a little harder for me to pick just one team, but I'm going to go with UCLA. They proved me way wrong at SI, and I think their familiarity with playing at this level, along with their experience, will carry them far. I'm saying this with the assumption that they win Pool A. UCLA split with Stanford at the Santa Barbara Invitational, and they haven't ever faced up against Wisconsin (and remember that I picked Wisconsin over UCLA at SI). So I guess what I'm saying is that if UCLA can get out of pool play unscathed, then I think they're the winners of Centex. If that's not the case, then I think it's more up in the air. Also, assuming both teams bring everyone, I'm interested in seeing how Michigan and Wisconsin do at Centex, as I know each team was without major players at Texas Throwdown and Stanford, respectively. College Southerns is the same weekend, and a lot of friends from our section and region will be there, including Northwestern, UChicago, and Notre Dame, so we'll see how they do.
Now that we've had Chicago Invite to get us warmed up again, I'm more than a little excited about going to Roll Call and getting right back into the swing of things before the college series starts. But for now, enjoy ya'llses spring break, relax a little, but make sure to stay active! SPRINGBREAKWHOOO!
P.S. When I went to the dentist on Monday afternoon, despite my best brushing and flossing efforts, my hygienist asked me if I had eaten some sort of candy over the weekend and she started listing them off ... "Twizzlers? Skittles? Starburst?" I could only nod my head in shame.
Those pocketfuls of Starbursts and Tootsie Rolls really did me in, but I'd do it over again in an instance.
4 comments:
samesies on the dentist :-P screw dentists and teeth in general
long time reader, first time commenter...
for all your skill as a writer i was wholly surprised and embarrassed for you, seeing you not only recount, but also praise an awful comment like "that's gay." i would imagine two smart and sensitive college students to know better by now, but maybe the midwest hasn't come so far.
i'm still a fan, j-wo.
hey, reader.
i hope this doesn't speak poorly of my character or judgment, but this is actually not the first time i've gotten this complaint. i won't go in to it, but i just want you to know that i'm really not a bad person. my cousin, who is much like an older brother to me, is gay, and i wouldn't take shit from anyone trying to put him down. that being said, even if he's okay with some of the dumb things i say, i have to realize that it might not be okay with others.
what i said was obviously very offensive, so i won't try to justify anything. what i do want to clear up, however, is that when i said "it was awesome", i didn't really mean what was said was awesome. it's hard to explain, but meg's not really that type of person. to hear her say something so out of character, so, so not-meg, that was the awesome part, not what she said.
as a writer, it's never my intention to offend. i've deleted the passage in question, and i'm going to be more careful with the things i say. again, i'm truly sorry, and i hope this doesn't taint your opinion of my team (they're a great group of people), the midwest (er, or at least chicago), my writing, or of me as a person, as ridiculous as i am. for as much as i like to think i know, i still have a lot to learn.
i hope you can come back here and still read my blog without hating me. =/
thanks for the feedback,
-j
pure jealousy. and go easy on the dentists.
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