Chicago Invite Preview

I'm actually like, physically dreading posting this.
I had actually started on this preview last weekend, because I knew that I had a few papers due this week and couldn't afford to spend a lot of time doing this. I finished on Monday, but held off posting, because it felt too early. In the time between Monday morning and today, they changed those dang pools like seven times.

Apparently Central Michigan dropped, so now we're down to eight teams. All of a sudden North Park is no longer the 9th seed and is now the 5th seed, and Northwestern went from being 7th to 6th and back to 7th seed.

I'm afraid they're going to change that shit again, so I'm going to just say piss it and post now. I'm not changing any of the content because I don't fucking feel like it. I did however, delete what I wrote about Central Michigan, but I left everything else intact, because I'm a janky person. Deal with it. All that has changed is that we're no longer playing Northwestern on the first day, we're playing four games the first day, and we start off playing Loyola, then UIC, then Michigan State, and finally a crossover game. Our bye is between our third round game and the crossover. Pool B also has a bye between their second and third round games. I hope Northwestern comes over to watch and I hope they shit themselves with fear. FEAR. SHITTING THEMSELVES. Ok, maybe they won't exactly physically shit themselves.

You better look at those pools now. For all I know they might be changed again before you read this and you'll be like, "What in the world was Joann talking about?"
I will be DAMNED if they change the pools again.
DAMNED, I tell you.

___________________________________________________________
Chicago is a violent town.
I know this, because it's my hometown. (Team Chicago, STAND UP) I got beat up in grade school because I said that punter Todd Sauerbrun, the brother-in-law of some ridiculous kid I went to school with, sucked. The truth is that Todd Sauerbrun did indeed suck ass at one point in his career, but whatever, I don't give a FUCK!

But St. Valentine's Day Massacre? The serial killings during the World Fair? Haymarket Riots? Memorial Day Massacre? Chicago Invite?

It's gonna be brutal, brofoski's.

Saturday is going to be sweet. We start off the day against a team I've been wanting to play again for a very, very long time -- Northwestern Gung-ho. I think I speak for most, if not all, vets when I say that I don't associate good memories with Northwestern. Losing to Northwestern last year at Regionals was hard to swallow, and watching them play at Nationals really sucked. (If I see that picture one more time I'm going to puke.) Beating them at Fall Out wasn't satisfying enough because their whole squad wasn't there, and I want nothing more than to beat them at Chicago Invite, beat them at Sectionals, and then beat them at Regionals.

This however, will be no small task. Even after losing losing 7 seniors and grad students, including All-Region baller Ness Fajardo (But is she really gone? I feel like we saw her at Trouble in Vegas, and not as a spectator), they are still coming back with some ballers. #12 Sarah "Smalls" Kong will be back, as will #2 Meghan Kirby and #26 Georgette "Jet" Moyle, among a bevy of others with Nationals experience. They also picked up a good number of rookies, including, I really want to say that it's #77 Sara Miller, who played high school disc with Stuyvesant ... buuuuut I can't really remember, so let's just pretend I'm right. On a purely quantitative standpoint, Northwestern has a roster that is more than double the size of the one we're taking to Chicago, so they might have the legs when we don't. Other than that, I don't see any obvious advantages they hold over us.

Their results on score reporter indicate that they haven't won much at all this year, and if you can remember, they weren't so hot at the beginning of last year either. They placed way, way below us at Southerns. We beat them at Sectionals. And then they beat us and Michigan at Regionals to go to Nationals. Sooo ... yeah. Early scores don't necessarily tell you everything about a team. How in the world Northwestern is ranked 6th in this tournament I don't know, but I just want to make sure that no one doubts that Northwestern is a good team. They went to Natties last year aaaaand we didn't, so I'm sure they know how to play good ultimate.

I feel like I have something to prove this game, due to what happened at Fall Out earlier this year. I'd like to start off by saying that I'm not a dirty player. If I kick you in the hand on purpose, or trip you in the stack, or undercut you every time you go 02, then I'm a dirty player. If I layout into your back without any shot at the disc at all, or if I hack the shit out of you on the mark, or if I shove you out of the cutting lane, then I'm a dirty player. But I've never done any of these things on purpose, and whenever I've accidentally kicked/slapped anyone in the hand I've never contested it. But DON'T call me dirty because I hustled downfield before you could even get the disc out of your own endzone. That's not called playing dirty, that's called running hard. All I know is, no one calls me dirty and gets away with it! ANGER FILLS ME. Ok, not really, but I just want to play them so bad.

We close out the day with the #3 seed, Michigan State. I'm not sure what kind of roster Infamous has right now, because after I scanned their roster that's up on UPA, I saw a familiar name. A quick Google search led me to the Flywheel website, where one of MSU's alleged players is also supposedly a grad student at Michigan. Since I don't think that's legal or possible, I think it's safe to assume that MSU's roster hasn't been updated in a year or two. They went 5-3 at Michigan Indoor, beating Northwestern twice. They also went to Vegas, where they took a bagel home for the weekend, and according to their website, they reversed it and won Spring Tide with a perfect record.

While it's hard to judge a team based solely on scores, this is a team that put up 8 on a Wellesley team that we only put up 10 on. This could be the most challenging game of the day if we let ourselves bring the intensity level down. It's the end of the day, we might be tired, and we're going up against a team that could beat us if they bring their A-game and we don't. We need to make it a point to stay intense and stay focused on the task at hand.

Other teams present at this tournament will be DePaul, Kalamazoo, Loyola, UIC, and North Park.

There was little to be found on the Kalamazoo Queen Bees, as it looks like they haven't played in any tournaments yet this spring, and they don't have a team website. They've got a huge roster (26 girls), and one 6' footer. I hate when I don't have much to say about teams, but it looks like that might be the case for a lot of the next few teams.

UIC Haterade -- what a name. UIC has no website that I know of and no scores, and the only person I recognize on their roster is Daye, who has played in every single tournament I've ever been to in my life. Ok, that's not true, but the point is just that I see her everywhere, it seems. She maybe played club with Dish, but I don't remember, really. She did for suresies play summer league, and from what I remember she likes to layout/fall over and be loud and such. So unless you're 5'3 and a tiny Asian, you have no reason to be afraid of her.

Loyola BOGUS is the #5 (now #8) seed. Mr. Briefcase's Rachel Garrett plays on this team. They have no roster up on UPA, their website is outdated, and they have no tournaments up on score reporter. All I really have to go off of is our experience playing them at Missouri Loves Company earlier this year, which is a sad, sloppy memory. Hopefully this time around it won't take us so long to beat them.

So who remembers playing DePaul at Fall Out earlier this year? They were those really funny girls, you know, the ones who made that absolutely pants-pissing joke about how Goose is so old that he still uses the 1st edition rules? I honestly still shit myself when I think about that joke, it's so hilarious, and clever, and witty, and mature. No, seriously. Do you have time? Tell it again! Oh, but fear not, I'll have my 11th edition rulebook with me just in case you all decide to tell us that a disc without rotation can't be considered a pass. Their one lone senior knows more about ultimate than everyone on the Illinois team, don't worry. Also, as a warning, if you come at me with your cheaty cup again, I am going to take your fucking face off with my disc-space swings of fury. Step off, bro.

And finally, North Park. We all know and love North Park. I mean, I know I do. I love the absolute reliance on the desperation high release flick, and I love when people travel, and I love when people fast count. No, I really do. More elite ultimate should be played this way. That being said, let's not let this team think they can get into the game. We've practiced our help D for a reason -- to show North Park that straight throwing discs into big clusterfucks of people will only work on occasion, if you're lucky. I mean, it's just not a very good game strategy, and we're trying to show them that, so they can maybe learn something new to try on us at Roll Call. You could say we're doing them a favor, really.

Anyway.
This should be a good tournament to go into to get the dust off our game and get us back into the tune of winning. Even though we're going in as the #1 seed, anything can happen, and we can't take anything for granted. Play hard, play smart, and play until the end -- as we've learned against Wisconsin at Texas Throwdown, you've gotta be the team that plays to infinity, not the team that plays to 11 or 13 or 15 and quits.



Terminus will also be occurring this same weekend, and since Chicago Invite took up all of my time, I'm going to pick Michigan to win it all, and Truman State as a darkhorse. Well, Truman State's good, so I guess I don't mean "darkhorse" in the traditional sense, but I think they are undervalued going into this tournament. I see them both upsetting Dartmouth and going very far in this tournament. To be sure, Dartmouth and Tufts are both Nationals-caliber teams, I just think that Truman State has the advantage of already having seen teams like Vanderbilt, Texas, Wisco, and Michigan (10-11 at Throwdown, ooooh). I'll also be interested in seeing how Ohio State, a regional foe, fares. Anyway, it should be a fun weekend.