"I promise I won't cry."

Things that have happened in my life over the past week:
a. Had my last class ever as an undergraduate student.
b. Accidentally flashed someone. Welp. (Much like Sarah Rosenwinkel, I have little to no shame. If I happen to pee my pants in the next week, you'll read about it here.)
c. Almost got everyone kicked out of Firehaus.
d. Biked alongside a Walk of Shame. Saw a Motorcycle Ride of Shame in the process. Yikes.
e. Used a travel shampoo bottle as a makeshift flask.
f. Vomited and nosebleed-ed (nosebled? had a bloody nose?) at the same time. Then almost walked back out with toilet paper stuffed in my nose (not quite sure why that's emburrussing, I do what I want).
g. White and purple lines have appeared all across the screen of my Blackberry, aka the Love of My Life. I have never dropped it or gotten it wet (that's what he said). It was truly the saddest day of my life.
h. My Ray Bans broke. I don't even know how. I set them down at the table, got up to do something, came back, and the bridge was broken in half. What. The. Fuck.
i. I found out that my super adorable ATMS TA, Melissa, lives on my block and plays sand volleyball by the Multiplex fields whilst storm watching. Goodness she is adorable. Good thing she is proctoring the final exam I am taking first thing on Monday morning. *shit on my peen*
j. I was recently informed that basically the entire volleyball team lives within a two block radius of my apartment. WHAT. How am I not best friends with Erin "Legit a Giant" Johnson yet?! *sigh*
k. I have a very, very, very, very rough draft of my thesis finished. I might not hit that 80 page mark that I was anticipating, but you have to admit that 65 pages is still a lot, plus I'm not completely done yet. Such a relief. All I know is that no sleep will occur between Sunday and Wednesday night. I will most likely die on Wednesday night in a blaze of drunken glory with Team Girlfriend, Kelly Foster, and hopefully Karen Baumann in some horrendous Champaign bar (please, please, PLEASE let it be Staysh!) I'm gonna get so drunk that I begin to like Ke$ha's "Tik Tok". Yeah. Believe it.
i. Didn't make fun of Sarah Rosenwinkel for all of practice on Thursday. Bizarre and unnatural.
j. Layed out on the Quad.
k. Got scratched in the face and didn't know about it? Yikes. Also, my right arm/hand BLEW UP. Don't know why. I know I got whacked a few times, but I didn't know it could be that bad? It was freaky shit.
l. Heard "Sarah's going!", looked upfield, saw her going, shouted "I LOVE YOU!", and then threw an I/O backhand huck to Sarah, who completely missed the disc. Northwestern and Illinois both erupt into laughter on the sideline.
m. Threw LEFT HANDED in a game. Didn't complete it though.
n. Played my last college ultimate tournament ever.


In case you are wondering how the mathematics works out, it comes to this: My life is a shit show.

Writing through this. I'll put something up soon, I hope? Not quite sure, finals and thesis get priority. Finals Week? More like: Finalz? WEAK.

But congratulations to all my friends who are going to Nationals. Get it.
(in case you're wondering, I haven't cried, yet)