UPA College Nationals 2009, or Natties Bro 9

What a weekend.
It's been almost a week, and I still can't really find all the words I need to sum it all up.
We didn't do as well as we would have liked, and I don't think there was a way I could have played worse, but shit dude, what a weekend for the ages. I'll never forget it. Okay, I'm not going to follow any sort of format, I'm just going stream of consciousness. Go.


Firstly, I'm looking to do an internship in Seattle this summer, but I need to find cheap, affordable housing. If anyone reading this can help me personally or knows someone who can give me a hand, holler. Secondly, I don't mean to get political, but come on, California. Oh well, freedom's rough so we take our stand and fight for tomorrow. Fight Prop 8. Thirdly, I need the Swozz (or Swine Influenza) to quit being a big deal so I can go back to China. I miss that place. Like, I really miss China an offensive amount. 中国，我很想你。Hell dude, I'll settle for Hong Kong. Sigh. Fourth, does anyone find the smell of Bengay alluring? Because I do. Mostly because I smell like that all the time now. Finally, I tell people I can't hang out with them until after June 8, but that's a lie. I just don't like feeling guilty about not studying for the you-know-what, but when I spend entire days laying in bed, throwing at the park, and eating at Harold's instead of studying, I think I can't pretend like I'll ever actually study. If anyone is in the 312/773 area codes, let me know. We'll play. It's not like I care about my future or anything. Welp, see ya later 5th year of eligibility. Oops.


Anyhow: Nationals.
The week or so before Nationals was absolutely packed with activity. It included failing finals, attending the rowdiest wake/funeral I have ever been to in my life (the Wong family does it up right), sushi, steak and donuts at 1am, dyeing hair, graduations, sleeping in T-Bag's clothes and bed, CHICKEN STRIPS, pulling many a J, and "The L Word".

We spent the Wednesday preceding Nationals in the great town of Danville, home to some of our favorite people: Kimmy D, Clurious George, and Peach Fuzz. Those who aren't allergic to chlorine swam, those of us who are watched "The L Word" in the back of the Margaret Mobile. Some people got their hair dyed, and some rookies named Foteskis locked keys in the trunk of Megan's car.


We then moved the party over to Clurious' house, where more hair was dyed and fireworks fun was had on the golf course behind the Clurious abode. Capers was scared and hid in my shirt, though. Princess Sophia was also sacrificed, and someday soon I'll get around to putting up the video of us dancing around her burning carcass. Anyway, some of us had the privilege of staying at Kimmy D's house, which is adorned with photos of Kimmy D. I love it. Anyways, ya'll don't care about what we did at Nationals, you care about how we did.

Welp, we didn't do so great. The first morning was strange. Getting up at 7am was weird because our first game wasn't until 3:15, and we really just got up early to watch everyone else. Anyway, our first game was against Carleton. I'm not going to speak for everyone else, but I was a little nervous about my first game at Natties. Deservedly so, because I got owned many a time (this photo is hilarious, because it looks as though I am observing her assets and it looks like I'm impressed). Anyway, we played them a lot harder and a lot better than we did at Pres Day, when we sort of just rolled over and took it because we were being a bunch of pansies. You know who looked really good though? T-Bagels. Anyhow, we lost to a really good Carleton team 15-6. Our next game was against UCSB. Against this team, Miss Foster no longer looked like a tree among shrubs. Anyway, the Skirts were fast, athletic, and just straight ballin'. We were quite simply just outmatched. We did get off some sweet hucks and took our shots though. Even so, we lost 15-4 in a fun game. Luckily for us, our games occurred late in the afternoon, when the sun was at its scorchingest. Real fun.


Day two of Nayshuns Bro 9 brought us an early morning match-up with a team I've heard a lot about but had never actually seen before, UNC-Wilmington. We started off the game HOT. T-Nasty was balling out of control, skying many a small nation of people. Seriously. There was nothing Seaweed could have done to stop her. She was untouchable, picking things out of the sky. When T-Baggles missed the disc, Fozz was there to save the day. FOTESKIS had another sick grab that made us all lose our heads. Plus, T-Bag and Yenskers were on fire with their throws. All in all, we were doing well. For some strange reason in the second half, we shut off. We let it slip through our fingers, and stopped playing our game. After the great lead we built and the momentum we had going for us, we lost 15-12. While Larry and Laura Weizeorick shopped for summer outfits, we stewed over our loss and cheered on the men against Tufts. Also, I made $5 by rolling down the hill with my camera around my neck, and Murrles lost a tooth. Has anyone seen it? I feel like I should make a "Lost at Nationals" post on RSD, but the Space Station doesn't seem to be phased by not having that tooth. Oh well. Luckily for us, our last game of the day was yet again during the hottest hours. I'm telling you, I wanted to die at least sixteen different times. But with each game at Nationals, we got better. I'd like to think that everyone played a little better this game. Peach even threw a huck! Unfortunately it was to me, the shortest, worst player in the air of all time, so it wasn't completed, but still! Even though it was hot as shit, we busted out our zone to show off Fozz's D dominance in the backfield. Fozz got many a sky D, and Margaret got her hands on many a disc as the middle of the cup. I would have to say my least favorite point of Nations was one marathon point against Wash U where we went from zone to man to zone. There was turn after turn after turn, and I just wanted to slit my own throat. Anyhow, we ended up winning this game, 14-11! Our first win at Natties!

Day Free of Natties found us in the ninals bracket. We began the morning against Iowa State Woman Scorned. This game went a lot like the UNCW game. Both teams would go on mini-runs but we were trading points and keeping it close. I forget where it all started to unravel, but it did. Their receivers were making the big plays and we were just making stupid decisions. It was painful, in more ways than one, to watch. Anyway, we lost 10-15, and headed back over to the far fields to face Northeastern in our last game of Natties Bro 9. Honestly, this game escapes me. A lot of unfortunate things happened to us this game. We'd go to D the disc, and it would end up being a mack to the other team. I mean, I can't explain it. Anyway, I was lying on the ground for most of this game anyway, so I couldn't really tell you what happened, except that we lost 15-8.

And that was our Natties Bro 9 experience. Honestly, I don't think I could have been disappointed with the weekend at all. Of course, there are always "woulda coulda shoulda-s", but overall, I had a lot of fun. I had a fantastic weekend with some fantasmic people. I wouldn't trade it for anything. When I can better organize my thoughts, I'll probably be back here writing about it all, but for now, that's all you get.


Off the field, Illinois could not have been more annoying. We came up with stupid cheers (Fo-zzy O-so; Central Region! You're in the middle; Northwest! Also fun!)

Welp, sorry about that one.

Hopefully we'll be able to come up with good cheers for every region. Too bad Great Lakes will always have the best one: GREAT LAKES, GREAT TIMES! I also can't get that Skirties cheer out of my head, or Hey Go Blue. Funny how I went from despising the cowbell to wanting to play it.

Anyway, we had a great deal of fun cheering on other teams and doing what we do best: douchebaggin' it up. If anyone was present in the parking lot of the Natties fields last year on the last day, you may have witnessed a pretty serious fight between me and Murrlin the Wizard. It was a small road bump in our relationship.

But I love her.



Also, I shot a LOT of J's this weekend. I shot so many J's that I'm actually a little worried. I might actually be in love. Speaking of shooting J's, there's someone new in my life. I mean, I put a ring on T-Bagels and if I could I'd spend the rest of my life with Weezy but ... D.T.L. (that's one you'll have to figure out for yourself, I'm not just gonna give you that one). Wow.

Baby baby baby, from the day I saw you, I really really wanted to catch your eye. Something special about you, I must really like you, cause not a lot of legs are worth my time. Oh baby baby baby, it's getting kinda crazy, cause you are taking over my mind. And it feels like ooooooh you don't know my name. Baby baby baby, I see us on our first date. You're doing everything that makes me smile. When we had our first kiss, it happened on a Thursday, and ooh it set my soul on fire. Oh baby baby baby, I can't wait for the first time, my imagination's running wild ...

It feels like oooooooooh
You don't know my name.
Sigh.

I miss you already.


Wow, I creep myself out.
Welp.

CHANGING THE SUBJECT.

I won the Spirit Award. What I mean by that is that Clurious won, but since her clurrabouts were unknown, we sent the least white person to go pick up the award, and then I stood awkwardly far away from everyone else. What the clurr, Clurr? You can't just go places without notifying us about your clurrabouts.

Anyway.

Something cool about playing at Nationals is that you get to play a lot of teams you've never played before. For example, we've never played UCSB or UNCW before. Playing UCSB was fun. Being able to play straight up athletes like that is always fun. It's a challenge. They play the game clean and with respect, and I feel like they treated their game against us like business. They could have easily just said fuck it, they're the last seed in our pool, we'll win easy, but I feel like they still worked for the win and just played their game. I was on Katie Barry for a point or two. Sick. I remember the play well. She was in the endzone, took one hard fake and then went in the opposite direction. Meanwhile, my ankles are broken, and Kaela Jorgenson throws an I/O flick for the score to Katie. I am still on the ground laughing. Kudos, Burning Skirts. I was pretty happy to see you ladies win it all.

UNCW ... unnecessary spike. Seriously? 4srs. Unberievable. I think I was actually so mad I started laughing. You know when that happens? Fuck dude, I won't even touch it. Just know that that shit was not cool.

Oh, and Carleton KNOWS. Man, I like Carleton. First they played "Love in this Club" at Pres Day, and then they did their cheer to the tune of "Ignition (remix)". I LOVE IT.

Another nice thing about going to Nationals is getting to watch great ultimate in general. I find it pretty shocking that being the BD and Blu fangirl that I am, I didn't flock to each and every single one of their games. Strangely enough, I chose to watch teams I don't normally get to see (not that I see UCLA very often). I watched a lot of UCSB, Washington, and Oregon, actually. That Washington/Penn game was so exciting. I think everyone had an epic upset in mind. Then Washington turns around and plays Stanford in another epic game. My God dude, could that game have been more of a nailbiter?

Also, the verdict is out: I love Oregon. I was on the sideline for a bunch of their games over the weekend, and they are a fun team to watch. They obviously have a lot of fun, but they're also sick good. Bailey Zahniser is unberievable dude. Clurious and I ventured over to watch the Oregon/Ottawa game, and we were present right as the layout D at 2:24 in this video occurred, and I think I might have started screaming "NORTHWEST ALSO FUN!" I was so amped. It is unfortunate that I was also present for the Michigan/Oregon game. Because I love the Great Lakes and I love the Hey Go Blue cheer, but I also like Oregon a lot. I didn't want Oregon to think I was cheering against them. That's how the Northwest cheer came to being. Unfortunately, every Oregon parent probably thinks I'm a tool because of my stupid cheers. I probably bring that on myself. Welp.

By the by, I can't wait to see the finished product of that Oregon video. I can already tell that I'm gonna like it. Speaking of Oregon, I like their jerseys a lot. My favorite jerseys at Nationals in no particular order: UCSB (black or yellow), Oregon (black or yellow), Wisconsin (black or grey), Washington (purple or white), and Michigan's blue jerseys.

It is also incredible to watch some of the crazy athletes at Natties. I loved watching the Shannon O'Malley/Danielle Platt matchup during the Washington/Stanford game. Did Shannon O'Malley ever sit a point in the Stanford or UCSB games? Because I feel like she didn't. She is ridiculous. Penn really put themselves out there too, giving Washington a scare. I think the ones we were all ooh-ing and ah-ing about where #4, #8, and one other girl whose number escapes me, bah. All those UCSB girls are ridiculous. Kaela Jorgenson is probs my favesies on that team, because she can do it all, but shit dude, #14 was also ballin' out of control. I saw her make so many ridiculous grabs on the weekend. I've also hyped Bailey Zahniser to the point of being obnoxious, but I'll keep going. Some of my favorite bids this weekend have belonged to Bailey and Jasmine "Jazze Pha" Draper from Iowa State. Once Cozza uploads the photo I'll put it up here, but trust me, it was DIRTY. I wish that I had a sweet nickname like Jazze Pha, so that every time I got a layout D I could say "This was a Jazze Pha production".

Oh, and did anyone see that showcase game? CAUSE MEGAN HOFNER WAS BALLIN'! Fuck yeah, Megan, way to represent.

Congratulations to Anne Mercier, Rohre Titcomb, Candice Chan, y Emily Baecher on being finalists, and Georgia WonderDread Bosscher on the Callahan. Wisconsin Callahans, two years in a row. I would have loved to see her and Wisconsin win the National Championship, but the Callahan is a testament to how much her peers respect her. She's an absolutely incredible player with unreal frisbee skills, and she's also one of the coolest people I've ever played against. I really can't wait to see what she'll do next. I'm not gonna lie though, I was a little broken-hearted when Wisco lost in quarters. I would have been in heaven watching a UCSB/Wisconsin finals. BDFANGRRL4LYFE.

Congratulations again to the UCSB Burning Skirts. What a great team. Only three losses on the year, and they were just dominant. All the girls on that team are sick good, and after seeing them come close two years in a row, it was cool to watch them finally win it. I think the Burning Skirts might be my newest favorite team, along with Oregon.

Also, thanks to everyone who visited me and Capers on my deathbed. In case you're wondering, my back ... it's broken. It's spinal. Wait, it's not appropriate to be making Mike Tyson jokes now. My b.

What I mean is that I do in fact have a pinched nerve in my lower back. Now I'm not sure if that tingling in my butt is because I love carmenychane, or because I'm about to be paralyzed. Most likely the former. Oh, Carmen (y Chane).

Also, a fucking bee stung me while I was doing little to nothing. Talk about MaryKim Award winner. Those trainers could not get enough of me.

Thanks to all the family and friends that made it out to Brohio to support us, you're the best. Thanks for everything ... for the treats you bought us, for housing us, for cheering for us, for taking photos of us, for your great looking summer outfits, and for all your support, in general. I hope we made the trip out worth it for all of you. We love the Menace Fam.


Natties weekend may have passed, but it certainly isn't over, because after the show it's the after-party, and after the party it's the hotel lobby, then 'round about four you gotta clear the lobby, then take it to your room and weez somebody ...



Natties Cuties '09 coming soon, fear the shit not.