Roll Call Recap

As pumped as you can get for tourney weekend, the adrenaline can only take you so far. After 11 hours in a car, during which my Chinese study cards fell into a puddle of jank, Kelly was made to feel less special than the rest of us at Wendy's with her old water, "Enchanted" was not watched, and Meg regaled us with stories about her grass collection, I'm pretty sure almost everyone was ready to shit themselves when the Holiday Inn came into view. Despite the mind-numbing speed with which the One-Stop Wonders (Kelly, Meg, Kim, Melissa, and I) made it to Maryland, we were still tired as all get out and excited to study the insides of our eyelids for a few hours.
(BAHAHAHA "Cheat Lake" and "Fairchance Road". Best road sign ever.)

The first game of the day was against Maryland. We began the day on defense, throwing our trademark zone at Helpful Corn, which they broke with ease. Even with D's from Kelly and Maggie and a bid from Melissa in the endzone, Maryland put up the first score of the day, 1-0. After some discrepancy about whether Meg had caught a pass inbounds or not, a Maryland player was left poached in their endzone for the easy score. 2-0, Maryland. On the next point, Meg sent a pretty forehand to Kelly that may or may not have been looping back inbounds, but because of spectator interference, we'll never know. Our first point of the day came after some intense cup D. I took a Charlie Mercer huck to the wrist to stop the Maryland offensive mid-field, and probably looking the most athletic I have ever looked in my life, I completely miss a disc MaryKim throws to me from like two feet away. Realizing the ridiculous misread I had just committed, I snatched the disc from the air and clutched it to my chest like I was never going to see it again. 1-3 Maryland. On the next point, our defense would continually create turns, but our offense just couldn't convert. Even after a Jayne handblock near our endzone, we just couldn't capitalize. Our offensive woes would continue on the very next point despite deep D's from Kelly and Catherine. Before we knew it, the score was 1-6, Maryland.

The next point, however, our offense would get its act together, and after some nice offensive flow from Tania to Jen to Kristi to Maggie, Meg would end up with the disc and find a wide-open gimpy Tania in the endzone. 2-6 Maryland. That joy was shortlived, however, because even after D's from Kristi, Meg, Maggie, and Catherine, we just couldn't convert, and Maryland took advantage of that, making it 2-7. On the next point, our deep game finally got going on a huck from Meg to Alexis, resulting in another Tania score to make it 3-7. After a lot of great defensive play the whole game, we dropped the ball on this point and accidentally double-teamed one player, letting Maryland get the easy score to make it 3-9. To cap our scoring for the game, Jen would layout for a sick grab in the endzone to make it 4-9, Helpful Corn. In the end, despite a MaryKim layout and handblock, Maryland would score the last point of the game and win it 10-4.

We didn't have too much time to mope, because our next game came up right away against the American University Dirty Ladies. It didn't look like we would be able to shake off the morning, because American came right out and scored on us to start the game. After warming up and getting ready to work, the cup played some sick D, keeping the disc on our end of the field for most of the point. Meg would then intercept a pass right by our endzone for the Callahan, and put us at ones. We built on that by playing good D, getting the disc back, and punching in a score from Catherine to Meg. But before we knew it, American had found a way to tie it up at 2-2, stifling our lead. On the next point, Mader would find some offensive groove, and threw a pass to Kelly in the endzone, who, as is indicated in my notes, "is on the ground". This would begin a scoring flurry, with some high release backhand huck action to Kristi and Jen, who had a somersaulting layout for the score, taking the count to 12-6. American was only able to score again when we experienced some confusion on our switch between man and zone.

Now of course, I couldn't go a whole morning without looking like a total jackass, so on a low pass Catherine made to me, I went to layout for the disc, and just when I thought I was doing something totally sweet, I tripped on my own clumsy feet and faceplanted, hard. I lay around and then sat around with some ice on my head for a little bit while MaryKim scored a goal to make it 12-6. On game point, we rewarded Kristi's handblock with a score to end it, 13-6.

Even though we could finally breath after getting our first W, the day didn't get any easier with Penn State Isis waiting to play us next. The start of this game is very similar to the preceding ones, with us falling behind early 1-3 to Penn State. The offense got a little oil in its chains with a deep shot from Meg to Alexis, resulting in a score by Kristi to bring us one point closer, 2-3. As if the fates had decided it, the turning point of the game came with two plays from gimpy Tania -- the first being a hammer score to make it 3-4, and a D from the gimp, resulting in me actually catching the disc (shocker) for a score to close it to 4-5.

Even though our cup was playing some absolutely ludicrous defense, Penn State continually found ways to break through it by straight hucking it away. When we got that cleaned up, they never scored again. After we pull up by one, 6-5, Meg throws an absolutely ridiculous hammer to Melissa, who takes her girl to the breakside on a pass to Maggie for the score. After storming back and taking it to half, we were all so exhilarated that Meg decided to reveal things about herself (other than that she likes to smoke crack all day), and told us that she "[has] herpes." With this knowledge in mind, we headed back onto the field to crush. We came out of half as strongly as we ended it, with some impeccable flow from Meg to Melissa to Kim back to Melissa, and finally a second straight assist from Melissa to Jayne. The Melissa dominance would continue as the assist stat from the last point would reverse: following a deep shot from Meg, Jayne had the assist to Melissa to make it 10-5. The next point is what I like to call the ROOKIE POINT, as Melissa continued tacking on the assists, connecting with Mader for the score to make it 11-5. I guess we all forgot that Meg has herpes, because on the next point, Meg took over operations again, first snacking on some deep D's as monster, and then doing it again in the endzone, D-ing some fake Sheila-wannabe. Meg then picks up the disc, and sends it way downfield for MaryKim, who punches it in to a wide-open Melissa in the endzone. 12-5 Illinois. The game ended with a big loopy flick from Meg to Mader, 13-5 Illinois.

Luckily for us, we got to pancake our day with difficult games, starting off with Maryland and ending with Northeastern. Once again we fell victim to a slow start, letting Northeastern get up on us 1-4 to start the game. We wouldn't score again until a ridiculously sick MaryKim layout in the endzone, which featured a contested something or the other, so the disc was sent back to the thrower. It didn't matter that it was sent back, however, because the result was the same, with passes from Catherine to Melissa to Mary in the endzone to make it 2-4. For a while, both teams were trading points, which was great for our offense, but not so great for our defense. Unable to get a stop, Northeastern kept tacking on points, until it was 5-10. Then, our defense started getting the stops we needed. We started creeping back into the game, 5-10, 6-10, 7-10, 8-10. Towards the end of the game, as we started to pick it up and time was running out, the pressure turned on. Even thought we dealt with their cup pretty well, constantly crashing and resetting the count, we would either make impatient throws or drop discs, and just failed to convert offensively. To Northeastern's credit, whenever they broke our cup, we were fucked, because they moved the disc so quickly and efficiently up the field with all our defensive players lagging behind. In the end, having to play the catch-up game as a result of our slow start really hurt us, and we lost another tough one, 8-11.

The day, of course, could not be complete without a rage blackout ... and I had one of epic proportions. You know how Lou Piniella throws and kicks shit and screams things? Yeah. It was sort of like that, but with a lot more expletives and self-hatred. Goodness I hate myself. Saturday night was a painful one, with some burnt faces and some very sore, battered bodies. As half the group split to see the sights and the cherry blossoms in our nation's capital, the other half went out for some quality Mexican at Guapo's after waiting approximately seven hours for a table, but goodness was it delicious.


Our Sunday quest started against a small Georgetown team. We started on offense, with a big flick from Meg to Jen, and Jen punching it in to Kim, helping us shake off the whole slow-start pattern we had fallen into the day before. On D, we got the turn right away, and Meg picked it up, saw a streaking Kristi calling for the disc and obliged, sending it deep to Kristi, who found a wide-open Kim in the endzone to make it 2-0. Our offensive flow continued, with some crisp passes from Kristi to Maggie to MaryKim, making 3-0 look easy. However, Georgetown got on the board even after a handblock from Kelly after getting lucky with a desperation huck. We shot right back at them with a deep shot from Meg to Melissa, and on the point after another Georgetown score, a sick IO flick from Meg to Kristi to Jen, making it 5-2. Even though our zone defense wasn't doing too badly, even forcing a Georgetown drop in our endzone and a quick score, we switched to man D for the next point. With this switch, I guess we also decided to put on a layout D showcase for everyone, as Catherine, Ashley, and I all got multiple layout D's, continually putting the disc back in our hands after a lot of Georgetown travels and high release flicks, and it all ended with a score by Melissa. 7-3 Menace.

The offensive onslaught didn't end there, with some connections between Catherine and Meg as well as Jen and Alexis to make it 9-3 Illinois. Our defense would match our offense's output, with a D from Kelly, as well as a D by Jen in the mark position of the cup in the endzone, which resulted in a quick score by Mary from Meg. 10-3 Illinois. Dunleavy got in on the scoring drive, catching backhands from Tania and Meg, who also connected with Kristi a few points later, making the score 13-4. Another ROOKIE POINT ensued, when a wide open Mader caught a backhand break from Tania and threw to Melissa, laying out in the endzone for the 14th point. To close out the first game of the day, both Melissa and Meg threw some D's, and Meg ended it all with a flick to Kim to finalize the score at 15-6.

Our quarters game was against a confident, talented Rutgers team. The first point of the game took approximately 0.5 seconds, as Jen caught a bomb from Meg to put us up right away. Rutgers however, would not only score, but take the lead at 1-2. We traded points with Rutgers, with the intensity and competitive fire going through the roof. Their coach and men's team visitors were being janky, essentially telling their players to throw that whole disc space concept out the window, and decided that hypocrisy was the best route when they would call everything and anything in the book against us. Our pick calls were mostly ignored, but they called picks for the slightest loss in velocity, and most points probably had at least two or three of those damn pick calls every time.

MaryKim had a pretty interesting duel with a particularly janky Asian on the Rutgers team, getting into a lot of discussions with her about picks and disc space violations, but MaryGKim sent a message to the Rutgers team by trucking one of their girls through the endzone for the score to tie it up at fo's. Rutgers would still pull ahead, however, taking it to 4-6, much due to the play of Rutgers' handlers. In particular, 2005 Metro East FOTY and two-time ME All-Region player Amanda Davis was just plain nasty. She broke marks at will, and until the end of the game, we couldn't figure out a way to stop her IO flicks through the cup. When we figured out how to do that, we turned the game around. The cup forced a Rutgers handler to drop it by our endzone, and Meg knew exactly what to do and slipped it in to Tania to close the gap by one, 5-6. We would continue tacking on the points, first tying, then going up by one on a Meg-Jen connection, and putting on two more following a particularly SICK NASTY footblock by MaryGKim on her jankiness. I think I must have ran and jumped my way at least five feet onto the field, I was so pumped. From there, we were riding a wave of momentum, and nothing Rutgers could do would stop us from winning. Kelly caught the winning goal, and with the win, we moved on to the semifinals to avenge our loss against Maryland.

The Maryland game was going to be big for us, because it would determine whether or not we advanced to the finals, something we hadn't done at a tournament of this caliber for a long time, and it was also a chance to show Maryland that the team they saw Saturday morning wasn't wholly representative of the team that Illinois Menace can be. We came into the game determined and fired up, ready to show what we were made out of.

On one of the first points of the game, I'm guarding this girl, and she's real pesky, loves to bust long, right? On an Illinois turnover, she takes off right away. Without turning to look first (because why would I?) I turn around and go into a hard sprint to catch up with my girl ... and sprint face-first into Jen's biceps and forearm of steel. I was knocked back, classic cartoon clotheslining style, making friends once again with the ground. Nose bloodied, blind out of one eye, and lookin' like a total D-bag, that was my exit from Roll Call. Thanks for having me, Poolesville, MD, I'll be in Urbana of the Illinois variety if you ever need someone to come in and eat grass for you.

But all asshole-ry aside, I didn't take any notes this game, as I was still talking funny (In response to Dunleavy telling me that I had blood on my chin, I said, "No, it's okay" and then I made her watch me spit. And then I didn't really explain very well what had happened. My brain is scrambled.), but we played so much harder the second day than we did the first. We came back with something to prove, and we busted ass. There were a lot of mistakes, a lot of drops, and a lot of throw aways that really hurt us, but the intensity level was noticeably different from the first to the second Maryland game. There are obviously a lot of things we need to work on, and these games against teams like Northeastern and Maryland really showed us that. To their credit, Maryland played a great game. They are a great team that the rest of the Metro East will need to look out for, and I'm glad we lost to the eventual champions. Even though Jess Trinh and Charlie Mercer are the designated Maryland ballers, I liked a lot of what I saw from Heather Smith. She was seemingly all over the field all the time, making plays. Clara Morris was also an absolute pain to defend, as she busted deep and sped in on in-cuts tirelessly. She was actually the girl I was chasing before I went down, so yeah, I'd say she was pretty fuckin' fast.

All in all, Roll Call was pretty cool, and a good tournament to go to right before the start of the series. It was nice to have Kristina, one of our captains from last year, come watch us play, and the hot chocolate after games really hit the spot, but there were some things to nit pick on. For example, all four semifinalists of Roll Call were from the A-side of the bracket. I don't know, like maybe the seeding could have been done better? And maybe the fields could have been lined better? There were a lot of discussions about checking feet this past weekend.
While a third place finish isn't what we came for, we learned a lot this weekend, and we're reminded that we still have a ways to go before we can get those tickets to Boulder. With two weeks before the start of the series, we've really got to focus on getting rid of those slow starts and having to play a dangerous game of catch-up, focus on the fundamentals of throwing and catching, and fine-tune our defense and offense before shit starts getting real. This is what we've been waiting for, and it's almost here.
Now let's put the work in.


Finally, an abbreviated alphabet of random thoughts:
a. So ... RSD, huh? I hadn't checked in a while, and it looks like the shitstorm's maybe starting to blow over, but wow. I'll keep my thoughts to myself, though, because I wasn't at Centex and I haven't really had the time to thoroughly read through everything, but I do think it really is an interesting and relevant issue that karlapanda has brought up, despite all the objection to how she raised the point.
b. Because I was told it was taken off YouTube. The Smoking Weed video is in one of the left hand panels.
c. 80mph in the pouring rain, I don't give a FUCK. Hitting 110 and almost killing a raccoon in Indiana? I don't give a SHIT. Don't fuck with the 12pm car.
d. If it's nippy outside, like say the sky is gray and it's windy and the temperature is in the low 50s, don't hesitate to take your shirt off. In fact, I support and applaud it. Kudos, Shirtless. I don't know how you do it, tournament after tournament. The world is not ready for that much sexy. Do your thang, babygurl.

Oh hey, can I holler at some Kleenex? I've just got a little sarcasm on my chin, thanks.
e. The Bucket of Jank is honestly the jankiest thing, person, or situation I have ever seen in my entire life. It is the jankiest of all that can be janky. Splish splash, splish splosh, so so so freaking janky I can't even take it. It pains me, it kills me, honestly, that one bucket can contain so much jank. Lord help us.

p.s. Let me know if you can't see the images or links. I'm toying around with some new stuff, so don't be afraid to speak up if all you're getting is empty boxes.