Do You Think About Me Now and Then?

Cause I'm coming home again!

That's right. This time tomorrow, this ridiculous you-know-what's back in the country. 

Cue the rolling eyes and the "Oh Gods", because I'm back and even more insufferable than ever. Four months in China and I'm coming back fatter, slower, and WORSE THAN BEFORE. Is it possible? Hellll yeah! I'm also coming back super Chinese, so beware. I'll be driving a lot slower (much to Kim's relief) and won't use my turn signals ever. I'll be dropping Mandarin left and right, but I'll probably mispronounce everything. I'll drink iced tea and bubble milk tea, and squat while I wait for the bus/train. I'll talk like I'm having an argument with you even if you're sitting right next to me, and I'll probably be overly affectionate too. I'll pop a squat whenever I need to use the bathroom, I'll spit wherever I damn well feel like spitting, and if it gets too hot, I'll just put on my Chinese Shirt. Shame? I don't have it. For those of you attending Pres Day and Centex, maybe you'll be lucky enough to catch me wearing The Chinese Shirt. Lucky you, especially since I've gained hella pounds and I haven't worked out in four months. Snappin'.

But 4srsly, while I'm super amped to come home and play again, it also makes me nervous, to return to a team I've been gone from for four months. What's changed? I know I have. I played an entirely different role in an entirely different system. I've learned a lot and I've grown a lot. There are tournaments I didn't get to play in, inside jokes I'm not a part of, and new faces that I don't recognize/that don't recognize me. Yikes.

China, by the numbers:

• (just in case Jon reads this) number of Illinois Ultimate shirts I have in China: ~11 (I can't count, I'm all packed already)
• number of times I have been called "Illinois" or "Chicago": countless. Representing 24/7, no matter the continent or type of government.
• number of bikes I have been hit by: 2
• number of cars I have been hit by: 1
• number of hilarious injuries: 2 (falling down stairs, falling in a hole)
• number of Chinese bus drivers I have taught to throw: 2
• number of significant hammers thrown: 1
• number of significant push passes thrown: 2
• number of world wonders my disc has seen: 1 (The Great mothereffin' Wall)
• number of deserts my disc has been thrown in: 1 (The snappin' hot Gobi Desert)
• number of "SUCK IT!"-s: 2
• number of "I'm gonna fuck you in the mouth!"-s: 2 (Hong Kong tournament, Red vs. Yellow Chumpionship)
• number of fellow Great Lakes reps in China: 1 (to my knowledge, Singapore player who played with UChicago circa early 2000s)
• number of good drivers in China: 0 ... ZING!
  
• number of television series I have watched instead of writing my final papers/studying: at least 4 (Family Guy, Sex and the City, Heroes, and Planet Earth)
• number of street food vendors I have befriended: 12 (fried anything twins + husbands, fried anything twin 1's jiaozi-selling daughter, BREAKFAST MAN, breakfast man's little brother/son, pomelo woman, bakery couple, sweet potato woman, and other fried anything man)
• number of iced tea companies I have single-handedly kept in business: at least 3
• number of pounds I have gained: a scary, scary number.

By the time many of you read this, I'll already be home. Ahh weird.

I'm pumped, I'm excited, I'm nervous, and I'm feeling a little sad, but I'm coming home.

Happy holidays, whatever it is you celebrate.

See you all on the field.

(and 如果你会说中文, 我们应该聊天儿! 我的中文说得不太好, 所以我一定要多说!)

Baby do you remember when, fireworks at Lake Michigan ...