Sidelined

So I am sitting in the basement of UGL being completely unproductive because I'm feeling too anxious. I feel like I have a lot of pent up energy inside. I have been participating in the Randy Moss drills and my shoulder is killing me. Backhands are what is causing the pain and they're still looking shaky, but the lefty throws are coming along! Ask Fozz. She almost didn't even notice that my lefty throws are almost as shaky as my normal throws (yikes). By Regionals, I'll be throwing lefty forehands instead of backhands. So force me backhand. I dare you. Anyway.
Just feeling real frustrated. I didn't get to play most of Sectionals this year, and when I was playing, I was playing really terribly. Like, skied by someone an entire foot shorter than me terribly. I haven't practiced in almost two weeks and I really, really, really, really hate everything about this.

I hate feeling ineffective. I hate feeling like I've let my team down. I hate feeling like I've failed to meet my own expectations. I hate feeling ... useless and expendable. It's the worst.

Well, Coach says even though I'm bad I will be able to cleat up on Thursday. I'm too excited and antsy about practicing again to do my work! Eek!
Mayhaps I'll go run fartleks around Champaign-Urbana in my short shorts and running bra?
Oh wait, are you telling me that's not acceptable attire? Yikes.
Welp.
Meep merp.