And bummer about Fall Out. Bummer things shook out the way they did.
(disclaimer: things i feel and say do not necessarily reflect the attitudes and positions of my team. just making that one clear)
Thanks to the cancellation of Fall Out, this is one of my first free weekends in a while. I almost don't know what to do with myself. There are going to be some exciting games this weekend, so I'll be watching Score Reporter. Yesterday I ran my last long-distance day before The Day. I was able to catch up with a great friend afterwards. I also saw "Whip It" with my Babybro. It was awesome to hang out with the bro, get some life advice from him ("Just tell everyone you gave your boyfriend a beejay ... with your mouth"). Anyhow, I have been looking forward to "Whip It" for some time, and I'm pretty satisfied with it. A ton of people I love are involved in this movie, including Ellen Page, Kristen Wiig, Ari Graynor, Marcia Gay Harden, and EVE! What the shit?! First Monica shows up in Keri Hilson's new video, and now Eve is in a Drew Barrymore joint?! Ah, I've missed you, 1990s. But where are you, Brandy? Anyway, not that this is a movie review or anything, but I liked the movie. It was pretty good, and I can't wait for the DVD to come out (I can only imagine the hilarious Ellen extras). The guy who played the coach was hilarious. One word: JORTS. Incredible. My love for Kristen Wiig only grew after watching this movie. And honestly, if you don't develop a crush on Ellen Page after this, then I don't know what's wrong with you. ADORABLE. I want one of those posters for my room. Also, I call the nickname "Babe Ruthless", as well as the nickname "Eva Destruction". Just saying. Speaking of Eva Destruction, my only gripe is that Ari Graynor did not get NEARLY the screen time I was hoping she'd get. Goodness I love her. Anyway. My parents rolled into the 217 and we celebrated 中秋节 and ate some 月饼. Blue/White Scrimmage tomorrow. So yes, pretty uneventful. Anyway, thought I'd take this relatively free time to reflect and write a bit.
At the beginning of the summer, I wrote about my club tryout experience. To be sure, I've played in club tournaments before, but it was always with my college team, and we never expected to do well. The idea of playing on a team that was actually going to be competitive at tournaments was sort of a foreign idea to me. Not only that, but it wasn't like a "Oh, I'm just playing with this team because they need women or because I need practice" sort of reason to be playing. I genuinely wanted to try out for this new team, and become a part of it, you know what I mean? Anyhow, much to my surprise, I made the team. I knew it probably didn't look good for me because I was going to miss an entire month of practices being out at JSA, and I wasn't going to play Motown with Spicy, and I would miss all these practices when we had to go back to school ... but they were cool and took me anyway. Oh, and once again, I was the youngest person on the team. *cue collective eye roll*
Anyway, the whole "new team" bit was rough for me at first. I was stubborn, and very much entrenched in my Illinois loyalties. I don't play hard unless I'm wholeheartedly behind something and completely invested. I wasn't sure that I could "invest" myself into a venture that wasn't going to last long. In my head, Spicy Tuna was supposed to bridge the gap from May to August, until college started up again. I never saw it as a loyalty I could adopt. But I finally did. I can't put my finger on when it was, but I started to really look forward to practice, and I started to really, really enjoy myself when I was playing with this team. I thought it would be weird at first, to play with girls I compete against during the college season, but it really wasn't all that awkward at all. If anything, I hope it makes our teams more amiable during the college season. It's awesome to play in a competitive, intense game against a team, but still be able to laugh together afterwards.
I'm really, really glad I had the opportunity to play on Spicy Tuna this summer. I got to play with some incredibly skilled players, and some really, really great ultimate minds. This was an incredible learning experience. I learned how to play different parts in an offensive scheme -- I think I can honestly say that I at least tried to play every position in our offense. And I was actually expected to contribute. For once, I wasn't just filling a spot on the field, I wasn't that useless quarterback who just had to survive between snap and handoff. And I also learned a shit ton of different defensive looks. I even played wing a whole bunch! Imagine that shit! But no, seriously. I learned a LOT from my teammates. I wish I could take all their skills and just put them all in a blender and come out with one Spicy cocktail of all the throws, all the grabs, all the speed, all the brains, and everything else in between. You really do force yourself to get better when you surround yourself with people who are better than you.
Surprisingly, my throws are better (BAHA isn't it scary that the way my throws now can be categorized as "improved"? YIKES). Even with all the "200 throws in a row" thing last spring, I think I'm more focused now on my throwing. It's about form, and it's about being focused on doing it right, time after time, and getting it to the right place. Just because something is caught, doesn't make it a good throw. I don't hold onto the disc, terrified, anymore. I feel more comfortable with it. I've also gotten a lot more comfortable cutting. I feel like everyone cuts as a freshman, because you don't know how to do anything else. Then sophomore year I started handling a bit because I'm slow and short, and I guess I just kept with it last year. This summer, I found myself cutting a lot. For once, I didn't feel like a chicken with its head cut off. I felt like I knew what I was doing, and I don't know, it was a definite confidence booster going into this season, where I think I'll be doing some of both cutting and handling.
In a different respect, I'm in much better shape this season than I was at this point last year. Seriously, just chasing after people like Mel and Jeanne has given me more than ample practice for chasing around all the speedsters on my team. I wouldn't say that I'm in peak condition, but I'm in really good shape, because I've been playing in tournaments at game-speed, and I've been taking part in "real" practices throughout the summer. On top of that, I haven't stopped throwing since May. I don't know, I like taking a break from things sometimes, but too much time away makes me get antsy, and I think that little month-long break I took was just perfect. I came back from California amped for ultimate, and playing throughout the summer has been fantastic. I can't say enough about being able to really compete in tournaments in the summer, and not just going to tournaments to fuck around and celebrate National Tequila Weekend, even though that's fun too. Not only am I already in good physical shape for ultimate, but I'm also mentally in the game. I've been thinking about it for months, and I'm just ready to go and dive into the college season.
After my first season of club, I've learned a thing or two about the player and leader I want to be. First of all, I really, really need to work on my throws. I want to be confident in them, and more than that, I want to actually THROW them. I also need to work on my endurance. Some of my teammates can play into the double-digits, and I want to be like that. I'm tired of getting tooled around because I'm tired. Now, getting tooled around because I'm slow, I can take that, but not because I'm tired. I need to work on my field awareness, on both sides of the disc. More than anything, I think, I need to learn how to turn emotion into motivation, into something productive. I'm not saying that I will ever stop playing with passion and emotion -- I'm fuckin' firey, and that will never change. But I'm striving for a more consistent demeanor. The best way to describe myself is ... mercurial. I am volatile and erratic, and maddeningly inconsistent. Sometimes in the same tournament, in the same day, and even in the same game, I can go from hot to cold. I couldn't tell you if I tried what the indicators are. I want to learn how to recognize when the emotion is building, and use that tide to do productive things on the field. I'm proud to say that I've only been involved in one argument this club season (against Sauce, some girl threw the disc into my neck and then called foul on me, foolishness). Sometimes I just look at some of my teammates, who are obviously super fired up, but just go out on the field and do their thing. I want to be like that. I want to be cool and collected like that. You know, just business.
All in all, the summer was good to me. A part of me wishes I hadn't missed an entire month of practice, summer league, and Sandblast, but I guess I don't really mean that, in the end. But if I could rewrite it all, I think I'd write out all the injury shit. Keith. Bro. My dude. I thought we were tight? Apparently all I am now is $800+ in debt to fucking Mettler. Thanks, I thought we bonded while I lay on my stomach and you poked and massaged my plantar fascia.
On the third day of Nationals, I woke up and kept getting shooting pains in my bank. I don't know what started them, but I wanted to kill myself for the entirety of the Iowa State game. I was popping pills on the sideline, laying on my back with my feet up, jumping up every time my name was called, and hunched over every time the disc was dead. Margaret's dad commented on how I looked like an old woman. I got it looked at when I got home, and it turns out I pinched a nerve in my lower right back. Bummer. It took a while to get better from that, and it would flare up from time to time. By the time I left for California, I was feeling pretty good. I wish I could remember when I hurt my back again. I really don't remember, I think it was sometime during the first week of school. I just remember skipping bowling because my back hurt so bad. I was getting painful spasms in it again, and it all flared up again for good I want to say at our Saturday practice on the last weekend of August. We were playing flip disc, and I made a cut to the front open side cone. The throw was a bit in front, and as I took the step to explode into a layout, my back seized up, and I've been fucked since then. Eh, I guess you could say it's a bit better now, in that I don't get the shooting pains as often. But now whenever my back gets stiff, the spasms come back. So sitting in class SUCKS even more than it usually does.
Anyway. Unfortunately, my club season is over. Spicy will be at Regionals, but I won't be on the field. Some genius scheduled Regies for the same weekend as the Chicago Marathon, so I'm bum out of luck. If I'm allowed to, I might be bad and sneak in a few points here or there, but for the most part, I will be relegated to the sidelines repping Tuna Nation in my flip flops and white shorts on Saturday, before I vomit, wheeze, and bitch my way through 26.2 miles on Sunday.
And I don't know if you know this (oh no big deal, it only took me something like two years to get over '07 even though it wasn't really that big of a deal, and I only wore a rubber band that read "15-12" on my wrist for like half a year, until it finally snapped off) ... but I'm the kind of person who holds grudges. All I'm going to say is that you might find yourself getting Face Drop'd (OH SHIT! See what I did there?) when Senor Briefcase you know what's all over your you know what next summer. Senor Briefcase Core: Chansy, Murrles, T-Bagelz, CATHY CHU (don't play like you're not completely excited about suiting up for El Briefcase, Cathy. UGH), and yours truly. BAHA we can pretend like I don't hatch this plan every year and like I don't fail miserably every year.
In closing: Olympics or not (what happened was probably for the best; go on with your bad self, Rio), I'm Chi-Town 'til I lie down. SOUTH SIDE, SOUTH SIDE we gonna set this party off right. West Side, West Side, we gonna set this party off right. CHI-TOWN, CHI-TOWN, WE GONNA SHOW 'EM HOW WE GET DOWN.
(speaking of "All Falls Down", a. Common is FINE. and b. Stacey Dash is 43?! Sheesh.)
I put on for my city.
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