Neither Here Nor There

Another weekend is rolling our way, and it's becoming more and more painfully clear that we're still in limbo -- too far removed from Pres Day to still be thinking about that (to be sure, my heart is still Weezin'), and Chicago Invite is still a few weeks off. There are a good number of teams that've got tournaments going on this weekend, but lemme tell you, the joke's on you, because we're getting belligerent this weekend! Party at (S)Kam's, ya'll!

Anyhow, The Stanford Invite will be taking place this weekend, and I'm gonna start this off with a bombshell. I mean, really, you all are gonna shit yourselves.

Ready?

Wisconsin will not be winning this one.
I mean, I guess it helps that they're not going, but whatevs.

Low-key, Pool D looks like the toughest pool. Pool C is hellish too, to be sure, but from what I hear, Wilmington is legit this year, so watch out. That being said, Washington is still gonna come out on top of that pool, but they're really going to have to bring it and battle if they're going 4-0 on Saturday. Back to Pool C, I'm pumped to see the results of/hear about UBC/Stanford. Northwest slugfests are my favorite, and I'm amped to see how this one turns out. My money is on Stanford, but I'm biased. UBC also just hasn't brought it, results-wise (the only way I can judge, seeing as I haven't seen them play this year/haven't played them ever). 'SC could give them one hell of a game (UBC beat the Hellions at Pres Day 13-12 ... yeesh), and then immediately following, they get to meet up with Superfly. So Stanford wins Pool C. Sorry to be boring, but I pretty much see Pools A and B playing exactly to seed. That being said, I'm calling Oregon over 'SB in the finals. Sure, the Skirts won Pres Day, but I like Oregon ... a lot. Plus, I like both their jerseys, and more pictures of them really would not upset me in the least.

If you all recall, this was the same tournament I so confidently picked BD to win last year, and I got boom roasted, so we'll see how well my predictions pan out this time around.

Oh, and question time to all of you out there on the West Coast: What is this about Emily Damon and a broken elbow? When is she coming back? Listen, a broken elbow is not the business, but I bet she did it doing something prison as hell. Also, when is Katie Barry gonna be back? Inquiring minds want to know. Doesn't it scare you when teams can be missing some of their best players and still lay you to ruin?


Alright back to the Midwest. The aptly-named Midwest Throwdown will also be going down this weekend. Right off the bat, I'm going with, you guessed it, Bella Donna. Were you surprised? I don't know why you wouldn't be, it's not like I do this every time.

In short, Wisconsin will have its way with Pool A. I'd like to see Iowa State wreak a bit of havoc, because I think they're capable of it, and I don't know anything about Hayride. Carleton takes Pool B. Midwest Conglomeration. Listen, fill me in, Megan. Who is on this team? Are there gonna be some upsets? Are white Adidas Predators totally boss? And Truman State! First I've heard of them in a hot minute, so it should be interesting to see how they fare. As for Division II, I want to see Wisconsin-B take Pool C over Dish. Get it done. So, like I said, BD wins this one.

Also, Midwest Throwdown boasts one of the tightest logos I've seen in a second. It would look even better with the 312 skyline in it, but St. Louis is cool too.


That's that for the previews.

It was an interesting race to watch, with everyone from vets to rookies getting votes for Pres Day Baller Bids. Now, you've read/heard everyone creaming themselves over our very own T-Bag, so I won't do the same (because I was already one of the aforementioned "everyone"), and I will sum it all up in one photo.

Listen T-Bag, we love you.


LISTEN. If you didn't vote for the 'Michelle Obama LISTEN' barcrawl shirt design, then you don't deserve Weezy's love. Listen, you just started seven holy wars, opened three new abortion clinics in Juno's hometown, and another school just refused to teach evolution. Listen, Troy didn't get into Cal Berkeley and can no longer study music and play basketball across the Bay from Gabriella, the Spice Girls don't make it to Albert Hall on time, and that bastard Rolfe tattles on the von Trapp family again (Oh, Liesl). Listen, Barack just inhaled, Bill Clinton just had sexual relations, and Larry Craig just tapped his foot under the stall again. Listen, Lance Bass just went back in the closet, Britney Spears just got a little crazier, and Taylor Swift got back together with Joe Jonas and they broke up again. Listen, Mark McGwire just took steroids again, Michael Phelps smoked more pot, and Plaxico Burress shot himself on accident again. Listen, Pam just failed out of art school, Stanley just had a heart attack, and Sprinkles just died. Listen, the terrorists just won, and I just sounded like an 8 year old for an entire paragraph.

Listen, because I just heard my heart break.
I'm not huckin' around, yous guys.