Trouble in Vegas, Menace Style

I apologize for not updating sooner, but it's been quite a janky week. [A Lesson in Vocabulary: All sorts of things can be described janky, not just people (by people, what I really mean is Asians/shirtless Wellesley players). EX: "That was a janky move."; "That bathroom was janky."; "I hate janky Asians.", etc. etc.] Also, apparently, Nyquil keeps me up at night and Dayquil knocks me out. I've been passed out since about 11pm or so -- go figure. Oh, and in case you're wondering, I'm no longer listening to that awful Jordin Sparks/Chris Brown song anymore, but the new rotation now consists of "Love Song" by Sara Bareilles and "Big Girls Don't Cry" by Fergie, which are apparently the only songs that are ever played on the radio stations in Vegas. Oi vey.

Sorry, that's not what you came here to read.

This past weekend in Vegas was a big one. With over 100 teams playing, this was the biggest Trouble in Vegas had ever been. There were Nationals contenders present left and right. Ultimate celebrities were all over the place. Pooja Shah, Anna Nazarov, Molly and Claire Suver, Georgia Bosscher, Holly Greunke, apparently Cara Crouch, and Miranda Roth were all there, among what I'm sure were plenty of other ballers.

Despite the overwhelming excitement of flying to sunny Las Vegas to play ultimate (even more exciting than having both Maggie and a CUT boy fall asleep on my shoulders during the plane ride from Denver to Vegas), we woke up early and even more pumped to kick off the tournament on Friday morning (What? Friday?). Even though their jerseys were super sweet, Claremont would be the unlucky first victim of our brutalistic attack. We got the game started with the standard Meg to Tania deep shot. Jen continued for the score, and we started off the long weekend with ease. The next few points were generated by our dominant defense. Quick turns and break throws resulted in a 4-0 Menace lead. After another failed Claremont attempt to get on the board, they decided to leave both Meg and Ashley alone, which, as anyone can tell you, is flat out ridiculous. Some girl at CCC left Meg all alone. No big. 70 yard flick. And I know I don't have to remind anyone of Ashley's famous "iso myself" call. 5-0 Menace. A few more hucks and scores later, Illinois took half 7-1. If Claremont thought that us allowing that one score was a sign of us letting up, they were sorely mistaken. Ashley got a handblock to stop the Greenshirts in their tracks, and Kelly broke like it was her job to Alexis for the score. The next point showed off our backfield. They owned the skies, batting down huck after huck from Claremont. After one of these D's, Meg picked up the disc and sent a hammer to Alexis, 9-1 Illinois. Realizing the error of their ways, Claremont didn't leave Meg or Ashley alone on the next point. They did, however, follow our iso call when we called for iso Tania, because they let her run free. 10-1 Menace. The next few points were a little sloppy, with lots of turns and another Claremont score. Menace held on to win, however, closing out the game with a hammer from Meg to Maggie. 13-2 Illinois.

After a four thousand hour bye (during which I must have eaten at least two whole bags of bagels and seven bunches of bananas), we started up again against Arizona-B. The issue here was whether or not the team could shake off the rust of a long bye and a case of half-blindness. The answer to that was a resolute yes. This game featured a lot of play time for the younger, less experienced members of the team, and a greater focus on the fundamentals of defense. That being said, Illinois closed out 13-1. The final game of the day would be against the Arizona-A team, Scorch. I wrote in my preview that Scorch played in a tough region against a lot of ballers. Little did I know that they too had a baller (Julia Tenen, #13 on Barrio -- she had a picture in Ultimate News, she's legit; there we go, in the background of pictures again) and that they too were a tough team.

They came quick out of the gate and scored the first point of the game, the first time that had happened to us all tournament. The second point of the game was a long, hard-fought one, which featured turnover after turnover. It was painful to watch. Then the cup turned it on, and Tania went flying all over the place, and we tied it up, 1-1. The next few points were long and hard-fought, but apparently Arizona's regional foes Claremont didn't let them know about the follies of poaching, because Meg was left alone to send one to Alexis for the score. The game's all tied up at 2's. Much like the preceding points in the game, the next point went on and on. Our D kept pushing Arizona back, but we weren't converting. Finally, with Arizona on our endzone line, Meg intercepted a pass and hopped into the endzone for a Callahan. 3-2 Illinois. After trading points, the tide started to turn. Illinois tied it up with a huck from Meg to Melissa. On the next point, we switched from zone to man defense, and Melissa would put on a defensive show, getting multiple huge D's. It would all pay off in the end as Meg made a break throw to Tania to help Illinois start pulling away. The next point went much the same way, with some tight man D and a huge huck from Meg to Tania with a one-handed grab in the endzone. On the next point, Arizona decided to throw a zone at us, and we shredded their zone D with hammers and high release throws from Meg and Kelly. On one particular point, Jen went way, way up for a catch, and set off a nice flow with continues from Melissa, Mary, and finally Tania for the score. 8-4 Menace. Scorch would go on a run, however, and bring the game back to within two points, 9-7. Illinois dug in and prepared for a dog fight. There were a lot of deep throws on the next point, but it was a nice break throw from Mary to Melissa that would set Menace back on the right path. Scorch's handlers looked to really make it hard for us to put the game away, but Jayne put on a monster mark that resulted in a catch D by Maggie, and was rewarded with a score in the endzone from Meg. 11-7 Menace. On the next point, our D showed up to play, and Kristi got a nice D to send the disc back in our direction. Meg hammered to Jayne for the apparent win, but a call was made concerning a pick, and an argument ensued. After some ridculousness, we scored anyway and ended the game 12-7. Even though we won by five goals, that differential was not indicative of how tough this game was, and how close Arizona played us. We were 3-0 on Friday, and left the field in search of buffets and $1 sunglasses.

The next morning started out with a little Stanford-B action. This game was not a pleasant one, as we started off sluggish and sloppy. Instead of coming out, dominating, and taking care of business in a clean, precise fashion, we played down to their level. Even so, we bageled 'em and moved on to our next game. If our quality of play against this B-team was to determine our quality of play for the next game, we were doomed. UCLA was up next. Because we finished our game early, UCLA was still playing Arizona. The game was close, even closer than our game against Arizona previously, and it was exciting to watch. On the last point of the game, it became very crucial for Arizona to get a D on UCLA and score. There was a huck to the endzone for a streaking Scorch player who let it go without speeding up or even laying out. It seemed like it was all over for them. UCLA made their advance. They worked it all the way up to the endzone. A break pass was made to a UCLA player cutting to the front corner of the endzone and we thought it was all over. But then out of nowhere, #20 on Arizona made a straight up NASTY layout D on that fool on UCLA, and it was Matt Lane-worthy and completely baller and absolutely a clean D. But then the girl who got straight schooled called a foul on it. Now that's some janky shit.

After seeing such a close game being played out in front of us, it got us way hyped to play UCLA. We started the game off in zone, and again, we were scored on first. UCLA went up on a huge hammer, 1-0. Menace would answer right back, with Jen making a nice one-handed grab in the endzone to tie it up at 1's. UCLA would trade points with us, sending a disc into the endzone, having their receiver catch it in traffic. On the next point, our O would turn it over, but get bailed out by a Tania layout D. She would bookend that by scoring on an iso call. This started an Illinois run of sorts. The D was sparked and played tremendously, and a huck from Meg to Alexis would make it 3-2. The short game also clicked, as on the next point we had a nice series of passes from Tania to Kristi to Claire, who layed it out in the endzone for the score. We were up on UCLA, the current #1 team in the country based on the lastest NUMP rankings. UCLA, however, proved why they are such a good team and went on a run, tying it up at 6's. We stunted their momentum by taking half, with some sick D's by Jen, and a score by Mary on a throw from Tania. Menace would continue this mini-run into the second half. Meg hammered to Tania, who punched it in the endzone to a wide open Claire. Illinois 8-6. But then UCLA turned it on. With a few layouts in the endzone and hucks to this tall headband-ed baller, they went on a run and took the lead, 11-9. Trying to get us back into it, the Illinois defense played balls out. Tania, Melissa, and Claire all made some sweet D's, resulting in a Menace score to bring us only one point away from tying. Hard cap went on, and our chance at a major upset was blown when UCLA scored one last time, putting them up for good, 12-10.

It was a tough, tough loss to swallow. We were not only breathing down the necks of the current #1, but we were even up on them by two at one point. And we let them go on runs. We let them back in. It was an incredible team effort on the one hand, but it was also a very disappointing, bitter loss to a team we could have, should have beat. We cheered and moved onto our next game against Wellesley.

The game started in what seemed like the typical fashion. Tania made a one-handed catch on a throw from Catherine, and punched it in to Maggie to put Illinois up 1-0. The usual, right? No, not actually. Wellesley and their janky shirtless girl made us pay. They sent the disc to Shirtless every time, and she got it, every time. We found ourselves in a hole. But as always, we came battling back. Jen made a one-handed grab on a pass from Kelly, and Tania continued for the score. We're tied at 5's. On the next point, Mary gets a D in the cup, and the offense converted that turn into another score. 6-5 Menace. Despite trading points for the next few points, the defense got it done again. Tania went hunting for D's and came back with a few slung over her shoulder. Meg threw a forehand to Claire, who made a tough catch in traffic for the score. 8-7 Menace. We wouldn't look back after that. On one of the last plays of the game, which is now fuzzy in my head so correct me if I'm wrong, someone was called out by Shirtless after a catch in the front corner of our endzone. After some understanding/accusatory hand motions were exchanged, Shirtless still felt the need to argue, and continued to do so right through the hard cap. Goose said something hilarious along the lines of "What is this, the Wellesley Debate Team?" Something like that. Anyway, 10-7 Illinois. One thing I'd like to say, however. It was hot in Vegas. Like, sweating balls, I'm wet behind the back of my knees, hot. Some people even had their spandex on in the heat. But not once did anyone undress for the sole purpose of undressing. Because that's not classy, right? Right. Apparently Wellesly did not agree with this, because many a janky female on that team went flab/janky out. It was unbecoming, even slightly offensive. Now, now, Wellesley. Just because you're an all-girls school in Nowheresville, Massachusetts does not make it okay for you to be taking your shirts off all willy-nilly just because there's a little sun out. You need to learn that that is some janky shit, and it cannot be had. I'm sorry, but that's just how I feel.

After three consecutive games, we had a bye to sit in the shade, eat, and refuel. Our last game of the day was against Cornell. This was another grinder kind of game for us. We started off slow, and found ourselves trading points for the longest time. We would go down by one and keep coming back to tie it up. There were some nice catches by Mary and Jen to bring it to 3-3. I apologize for the following lack of detail/game coverage, but my notes at this point get hazy and completely illegible (Too much excitement does that to me. It makes my heart flutter and my writing sloppy.). I did have, however, that on one shot to Jayne cutting into the endzone, the disc was swatted away -- twice -- and Jayne stayed with it the entire time and caught the disc for the score, 11-7 Illinois. We would hold on to win the game, 12-10. A tough Saturday was concluded with Illinois going 3-1. We would then procede to leave the fields and drive about a thousand hours to get to an In-and-Out Burger, and in the process listen to "Big Girls Don't Cry" at least seven times on the radio. I love Vegas.

That night, before going out to shady U-Hauls in abandoned lots and buying hip hop cds off the street, we found ourselves eagerly awaiting a phone call from the tournament people to tell us what we'd be playing for the next day. The way the format worked was that the top 8 teams would go into the championship bracket. That was it. Top 8, Myspace-style. We finally got the call as we were on our way to the strip on a trolley. All I remember is Ashley asking the guy on the phone to give her a moment, and then some words are blurred in my head, and then all I hear is CHAMPIONSHIP BRACKET and we all go nuts. It was insane. Phone calls were made, text messages were sent, everyone was overjoyed and excited and amped up to crush the next morning.

We would begin our Sunday with a matchup with the only other Midwest school in the Championship Bracket, Wisconsin. The game started off kind of chippy. The first two goals, one by Bella Donna and one by Menace, were both marred by calls. Either way, it's tied at 1's. After getting a quick turn, we finally capitalized on offense (something we didn't do very much all weekend), and Jen caught a pass from Meg for the defensive break. 3-2 Illinois. Bella Donna would not be outdone however, and despite a layout D from Tania, Wisconsin scored, making it 3-4 Wisconsin. On the next point, Meg would utilize the heretofore unused face-catch, and recover with a hammer to Tania. We're tied at 4's. The next few points would go back and forth, back and forth. Despite some Melissa D's, Tania layout bids, and a Kelly handblock, we couldn't convert on O, and found ourselves down 6-8. We found our scoring touch again when Ashley cut upline for a dump pass, and Tania continued for her, finally finding Maggie in the endzone for a score. 7-9 Wisconsin. A few points later, with our zone defense on, Wisconsin began swinging the disc back and forth across the field. On one swing, Catherine got way up in between the intended receiver's hands and got a huge D. It resulted in a Meg hammer to me (? It sounds awkward saying that, because I'm not cool enough like Muffin to refer to myself in the third person.), followed by a break throw into the endzone to Melissa to make it 9-11, Wisconsin. On the next point, Wisconsin came storming back to put it away. Despite two bids by Jen, Lil' Bitterman made a sick catch in the endzone, dragging her feet for the score to make it 12-9 Bella Donna. Wisconsin never looked back from there on out, and took the game 15-10. Another tough loss to another team we were up on.

After another bye, we would close out our tournament with a game against Washington, fresh off the loss of a captain. This was a rough game to watch. It was like we didn't even really show up to play. Washington dominated this game, and we struggled. It was obviously very maddening and frustrating, as I have close to no notes about it. Washington took it 15-3.

Trouble in Vegas '08 ended with the Menace going 6-3, and ending in the top 8 teams of the tournament. Right after this, we busted ass to the airport (almost dying at least 7 times in the process), and I did a barefoot "cool down"/"My ass doesn't want to get left behind"-run through McCarran. Time of my life, actually.

Maybe I'm just very anti-purple, but I felt the need to know how Northwestern did. They showed up with the services of one Ms. Fajardo. She was probably there illegally though, because if she started playing right away in her freshmen year, then I'm pretty sure she ran out of eligibility last season (she was All-Region in 2006 as a senior, and All-Region yet again in 2007 as a super-senior). Even with Ness and Smalls and Jet and that supposed super sweet freshman they have who played in high school and whatever other "ballers" they have, they were still playing for loser place or whatever it was. I guess it should be noted though, that Northwestern did terribly at Southerns last year aaaaaand went to Nationals. So I guess it doesn't say too much until we get a chance to match up with them again.

On a lighter note, I'm trying something out by giving out The Baller Bids award to, well, the person who makes the most baller bids of the weekend. Since I didn't get to make a poll about it earlier, I will pick the winner this week. The Baller Bids of TiV goes to, who else, but Tania. Have you seen her lately? She lost more skin than George Hamilton after a good day at the beach. She sacrificed her body for some sweet D's, glory, and (she didn't know it at the time) The Baller Bids honor. Job well done, Tania.

Ground, meet Tania. You're going to be seeing a lot of her, and she's going to be laying the hurt on you.

Also, I just wanted to let everyone know that while we were at TiV, our GL Region competition, Michigan, was at Queen City Tune Up. Michigan went in as the #1 seed, and guess what? They lost to North Carolina in the semis, 10-3. Hey, didn't we beat North Carolina?

Oh, and based on the latest NUMP rankings we are the #15 team in the nation, based on RRI we are #10. It's pretty sweet to get recognized, but we shouldn't be satisfied with this. We lost to some really good teams this past weekend, two of which will most likely be at Nationals. We ended up in the Championship Bracket, and came out in the (myspace)top 8 of over 40 teams. This weekend was by no means a failure. However, we cannot be too eager to label this a success, either. We lost close games to Wisconsin and UCLA (and in both games we were up at one point), and we straight up just didn't show up against Washington. We relinquished leads on big-time teams, we were tired, our intensity dropped. In order to move to that next level, we've got to move past these teams and those problems. I think Meg and Catherine put it best when they said that we started out on a high level and dropped off in the UCLA game, while UCLA started out high and kept rising. We need to learn how to keep rising.

We left our blood, sweat, and skin on the fields of Vegas.
Now let's make it rain in Missouri.