Texas Throwdown Recap

So uh, I'm not sure if all of our non-Illinois readers are still with us, considering how often I use the words "bro" and "janky", and how i add "-sies" to the end of a lot of words. (It's truly ridiculous, I concur.) But as I was saying, I'm really excited and truly humbled that people outside of my own team found my writing mildly entertaining. That being said, while I'm still going to be writing about Illinois and our exploits, I'd like to take this chance to venture out into the deeper waters of women's ultimate, and see more and write more about it. I'd like to take some material from guest bloggers too, so if there's a particular someone that you want to see contribute, or if there's something that you want to see written about, or if you wanna hype your own team/write about your team's weekend at such and such tournament, holler atcha girl: jlwong3 AT uiuc DOT edu. Do it to it wid a swiffness.

Illinois' next tournament isn't for another two and a half weeks or so, so I won't have much to write about until then. After that tournament, I'm trying hard to figure out the logistics of flying out to watch Centex, but we'll see how that all works out. But I mean hey, if someone who's going wants to take me with or something, I wouldn't cry a river about it or anything ...

Anyhow. Texas Throwdown recap. Go.
A crisp February morning and a ground layered with snow greeted Illinois on Saturday. Despite only have 12 able-bodied players, Illinois was out for blood and ready for the long, challenging day ahead.

Disclaimer: With less bodies to put on the field and players having to play more points consecutively, I wasn't able to take the same meticulous notes I took at Vegas, and I ended up using someone else's notes. That being said, I apologize profusely if this review is going to be much less detailed and much shorter than the Vegas recap. (And yet it somehow still took me three days to post it. I blame Chinese 202, as usual. Most freaking ridiculous T.A. ever, gosh.)

The first game of the morning would be Wisconsin Bella Donna, which we were all hyped for. My stomach turned and turned as the seven of us stood on the line. Before I knew what was happening, the pull went up and it was game on. We would start our march upfield only to turn it over almost immediately, resulting in a Bella Donna score. I guess we're all fans of trilogies, because this would happen twice more, resulting in 3 unanswered Bella scores. 3-0 Wisconsin. It was going to be a long day ... but for whom? After realizing that we had just let arguably the best team in the country go on a three point run to start the game, we answered back, going on a run of our own. In the blink of an eye, the score was 5-3 Illinois. Wisconsin threw a clam on us, and Tania ate that shit up when she went deep for another score. Our defense wouldn't let up either, as our zone went on lockdown and forced a lot of turnovers. Our offense began to click, with Jen throwing down some sweet I/O breaks and Meg orchestrating the deep game like a well-practiced symphony. Following a dropped pull by Wisconsin, Illinois was able to score quickly and take it to half, 7-3.

In the second half, however, Bella came out nuts just as we expected them to, but we couldn't match that intensity. Georgia Bosscher and Courtney Kiesow would take turns on sky patrol, snagging down our poor decision throws. Bella was on the come back, and got their Z on. We were able to work the disc back to our goal line, setting up a sweet Alexis layout. She was rewarded with a slick low-release backhand break from Kelly for the score. From that point on, shit got real. Catherine was getting ridiculously hectic on the sidelines, Menace was clawing to hang onto their lead, and Bella was making a mad comeback. Tania would intercept a Wisconsin pass, stopping their offensive momentum for just a moment. Just as Illinois set off to put the disc back into our endzone, Courtney Kiesow went airborne for a D and snacked on it like sweet, sweet candy. Illinois and Wisconsin would trade scores and D's from that point on. Claire boxed the shit out of her defender in the endzone on one point, but the sheer amount of black jerseys swarming her kept her from getting a hand on Meg's hammer. Illinois would get the disc back soon after, but a high stall count would force a frantic desperation throw. Luckily enough, Tania would be there to bail us out and put another one up on the board for Illinois. It was starting to look like we were getting our footing back. But following the most balleringest layout D from Emelie McKain (further detailed in the Baller Bids section), Wisconsin would flex its muscle to let us know that they aren't considered one of the top teams in the nation for nothing. Despite Catherine putting a duece up on the board, Bella would keep finding ways to come back, including scoring on a HOT Georgia Bossch (that's what MaryKim calls her) layout. Tania decided that she couldn't be outdone. So on the very next point, both T and GB went horizontal for a deep shot from Meg, and Tania would come out from that tangle of bodies victorious. After some soft cap confusion, Wisconsin would come out with a 15-14 win.

15-14. Damn. I guess we don't know how to play in big games yet. As disappointing as it was to lose this game to such a great team that we were actually up on at one point, it was definitely a learning experience in how to be a great team. Great teams like Wisconsin will go on runs when they're down and play lock-down defense. Great teams show that they want it, and they dig deep and don't stop playing until they're winning. We were beaten by a really great team, and as much as we wanted to win that game, maybe we just don't have "it" yet.

Oh, and I'm not calling anyone out or anything, but word on the sideline is that some people were wondering what was "wrong with Wisconsin", and how Illinois could get so many points on them. I don't know, maybe it was early in the morning and Wisco was still sleepy or maybe we just got really lucky or who the hell knows what other things could have happened, but there's just no way that Illinois could possibly be playing well against Wisconsin, right?! Well, I’m not quite sure what Wisconsin thinks, but I think we gave them a run for it; I think we made them work for that win. We didn't get rolled like we did at Fall Out last year, and we improved upon our five point loss at Vegas. I don't think Wisconsin played that poorly, especially since they really turned it on in the second half, and I also don't think that we played poorly, either. Just like with the UCLA game at Vegas, we started higher than the other team but didn't rise through the course of the game, while the other team just kept rising, eventually surpassing our level. I don't know, I'm not trying to start shit, I just think it's janky when people want to discredit others or lowball their efforts. It's alright, I guess. Hata'z gon' hate.

Despite losing that heartbreaker, the rest of the morning would offer no solace, as our next game with Texas started right away. With some snow on the ground and a chill in the air, we hoped to exploit our familiarity with playing in these kinds of conditions against Texas, and it seemed to work for a while, as Illinois would strike first to make it 1-0. Both teams would continue on with a lot of turnovers before turning it on, with Texas taking half. The second half was a D showcase, featuring layout D's from Jen and Tania. Sadly, Texas would get the biggest D of all. On game point, Gina Phillips gets a straight PRISON layout catch block, which resulted in a quick Texas score. Game over. Texas 9, Illinois 7.

We wouldn't have much time to mull that one over, as the top seed in the tournament was already waiting for us on the line. I, on the other hand, was still shoving handfuls of Cheez-Its and whole pickles in my mouf. (Yeah Kristi. I know you remember that.) Flywheel started the game by putting up two quick points against us, and it looked like things would go much the same way as they had last we met up with Michigan at CCC (although with much less use of the cowbell, I'm impressed). They threw their four/five-person cup at us, but we made use of our over-the-top throws.
What we thought was an ultimate game quickly turned into a chocolate pudding slip and slide. Players were slipping left and right, and you just couldn't help but laugh a little. After a stirring timeout message involving shame attributed to clean jerseys, Tania decided to get dirty-dirty and layout D'd a Michigan in-cut. This game, however, would not be like our last game with Michigan. In the last game, we gained intensity as the game wore on. In this one, we lost it. I can't even really find the words for it. One highlight though, was a score by Jen Mader (yeah, she plays with Brass Monkey, no big deal) to take our point total to a whopping three. The end result was an Illinois thumping by Michigan, 13-3.

The last game of the day took us back over to greener fields against a familiar opponent, Truman State. We began the game without the services of Catherine and Tania, both making the decision to sit out the last game of the day with their respective injuries. Our hopes to end the day with at least one win wasn't looking very good from the start, as our defense kept getting broken by TSUnami's handlers.


The first point was long and turnover-plentiful, but Truman State finally struck first. Illinois wouldn't be left with the bagel, and Melissa went deep, skied her defender for the disc, and passed to Tania for our first score of the game. On the next point, Meg would reach into her bag of tricks and use the Truman State Player-Catch (much akin to the Face-Catch she employed against Wisconsin at TiV), securing a disc after sandwiching it between her body and the back of a Truman State defender. Even so, TSUnami would put another one into the endzone. Things would only go downhill for Illinois as a pull was dropped. Luckily, we got the quick D and advanced towards our endzone, where we once again turned it over. We were bailed out a few times by Truman State's overthrows to their receivers, only to continually turn the disc over on our goal line. We would finally score on a break from Meg to Alexis. By this time, Tania would unravel herself from her tangle of ice and wrapping and get back into the game. Now that's just hella O.G. Meg also laid down some D's and let off a big HADOUKEN (48mph, no big deal) to Jayne for a score. And yeah, I love Super Nintendo. My roommate and I beat Super Mario World in four nights, cause we ball just that hard. I may have beaten Super Mario, but we just couldn't beat Truman State. They would prevail 11-7.

However, we were offered something that most people don't get -- a second chance. We would get another shot at TSUnami in quarters the next morning. We would get so pumped that we fell asleep in our chairs/passed out on top of our soft drinks at Shakespeare's Pizza. We were so geeked that we paid for gas and then forgot to fill up, and then we went to Pan(t)era Bread and looked at pictures of everyone's favorite lolcat (FUDGEFANCLUBPRESIDENT). On some real talk though, we all got to bed early that night to prepare ourselves for the rematch.

The next morning took us to some turf fields at Mizzou's Stankowski Field. After seeing Wisconsin pull it out against WashU, we knew we wanted to win against Truman State so we could get another shot at Wisconsin, too. But, first things first. The game started with Jen straight dominating her girl, skying and schooling her on in-cuts repeatedly. Meg would get in on it too, showing Truman State that she not only does she possess a sick flick, but a deadly backhand too. Tania, naturally, stepped up her game and D'd close to everything that the TSUnami handlers tried to send to their deep threat, Noelle Peterson. Finally, Illinois would get on the board following a D by Jen. Meg would pick up and the Danville Connection would do the rest -- Claire to Melissa for the score. 1-0 Menace. After a turnover, Truman State put on a zone, which was rendered useless when Meg shattered their cup with a big huck to Jen. Meg got it back and decided to put her hammer to use too, connecting with Tania for a score. Truman State would counter each of our scores with scores of their own, too. Both teams were unwilling to let up. Illinois turned up the intensity on defense, getting endzone D's out of Tania, Melissa, and Alexis. Both teams would employ a zone defense, and both were ineffective. We would continually break their cup with our high-release throws, and they would keep breaking ours with throws through the cup. This game went down to the wire, but rematch glory would not be ours, as we fell once again, 8-6

The only good personal story I have coming out of this game is about my second encounter with Noelle. On a frantic switch after a turn, it turned out that the player I was closest to was Noelle. Now, if you remember my story about getting pwnt hard by her at Glory Days, you'll know that this was the last thing I wanted. She sensed my fear and busted deep. When her handlers couldn't get the disc to her then, she took me in hard. This happened a few times, and I'm proud to say that she didn't score on me once! Granted, it had very little to do with me, as Noelle could beast me all over the field if she so chose to do so, but my teammates did an amazing job on the mark.

On the weekend, Illinois Menace went 0-fer 5. Despite this, I think it was a great tournament for us. We played against great teams, and learned a thing or two about ourselves. This was definitely a weekend of personal and team re-evaluation, and that's a good thing. Thanks again to Michelle and Texas for hosting a sick tournament, and I look forward to the next one.

Also, congratulations to Wisconsin for winning Texas Throwdown.

By the way, Bella, that annoying kid yelling, "GOWISCONSINANDSTUFF" was me.
I saw Wisconsin Bella Donna wearing army pants and flip flops.
So I bought army pants and flip flops.

Wisconsin Fangirl.
So shameless.

Oh, so speaking of shamelessness, I met someone new this weekend.
Hey Facebook, I hooked up with Consuelo Melee in 2008. She was flicking me off but I think that's just her way of showing me tough love.
Me and my new friend:
Let's examine this picture and ask ourselves a few questions.
1. Were my two universal picture-taking goals met? A) Being as unphotogenic as possible? Check. B) Being as awkward as possible? Check. Glorious. Schmitty? Bring the car around, my work here is done.
2. Why is my jersey so, so wrinkly? I'm not quite sure, I think it might be because I'm a janky person.
3. Could Consuelo be any hotter? No, actually. No. Gosh, I just don't know how to conduct myself around attractive, mostly-naked mascots who give me just the slightest bit of attention. You've got me wonderin' what to do, what to say, don't want to come off lame. Damn, gurl. Damn.


I'm not opening the Baller Bids of this weekend up to voting because I think the answer would be unanimous.
How do I even being to describe Tania? Tania Reitz is flawless. She has two Fendi purses and a silver Lexus. I hear her hair's insured for $10,000. I hear she does car commercials ... in Japan. Her favorite movie is Varsity Blues. One time, she met John Stamos on a plane. And he told her she was pretty.

One time, she punched me in the face. It was awesome.
(This is actually sort of true. She hit me in the face with a disc once, and even though I pretended like it hurt, I secretly went home and wrote in my journal about how awesome it was.)


Emelie McKain, however, also gets a nod for Baller Bids of the weekend. I only got to really watch Wisconsin play one full game, and that was the game we played against them. Near the end of the game, it looked for suresies like an Illinois player (I forget who) was going to get the disc that was coming to her. But then, coming from across the fuckin' field, Emelie McKain came flying in like a bullet and threw a D on that bitch. It was fuckin' ridiculous. She was probably like, "Eh, standard issue" and she probably doesn't even remember it now, but I shat myself twice, even though it was against my own team. I almost tripped over my own jaw walking back down the field to talk on D. I swear, it was so ballin'. Go on wit cha bad self, Emelie!


All in all,
BUY: Wisconsin Bella Donna. Michigan Flywheel. Texas Melee. Truman State TSUnami. Jack in the Box. Pickles.
SELL: Seaweed that isn't individually packaged -- just don't do it. Snow that doesn't result in snow days. Fuuuuuuck it. Saucony Kilkenny's in the snow -- possibly the worst idea I've had all weekend.
HOLD: Illinois Menace. But I promise you we'll be a BUY by the end of this season.


I've gotten word that The Legion of Ballers is planning more competitive, accessible tournaments like Throwdown, and I support that. (In fact, I'm in the application process to become the official L.o.B. Fan Club president.) Let me just say, Legion of Ballers, that we're all looking forward to it, and I'm hoping it'll be even more ridiculous than it was this time around. In the meantime, Menace, let's take what we've learned from this weekend and set our sights on bringing the carnage to Chicago in a few weeks.

(sorry for the lack of hyperlinks, it's all CHIN 202's fault, I swearsies)