FINARRY

Hokay, so I'm finally gaining some control over my postpartum depression, so here I am.
Great questions ya'll, I appreciate them all. Hopefully I can answer them to your satisfaction.

From America's Next Fozz Model:
If Andy Roddick did the Andy Roddick diet and STILL couldn't beat Roger Federer, what hope is there for the rest of us?

The Rafael Nadal diet, I guess, although I guess even that doesn't work every time. What I recommend is The Committee Diet, which is what I'm on. Basically, I eat what I want, when I want. Tuesday nights I usually eat $2 Firehaus burgers with chips. Some nights I eat Happy Hour sushi from Sushi Ave. All other nights I eat steak. Unhealthy? Yes. Delicious? YES.

During busy times, I'll go an entire week eating nothing but turkey sandwiches and Mountain Dew, and then when I've successfully burned a hole in my stomach, I shovel out $30 for dinner for 5 at Kamakura, and eat until I'm curled in the fetal position on my living room floor, crying shameful tears and shitting defeat. All I know is that while I've been on this diet, I've gone to Nationals and made two club teams. So there's your success story.

ALSO.

True story: At least two nights out of the week this summer, my co-workers and I would get In-N-Out at 1am. Most of the time, I got a double-double with fries and extra spread, none of that protein burger shit. Extra, extra spread. I LOVE spread. A related true story: I lost four pounds while in California, and I didn't do SHIT.

I'm just saying, The Committee knows what's best.


From Megan:

what is your number one favorite ultimate play ever - both seen in person and seen on video (if they don't coincide) please post link if available.

Yikes. This is hard. I'm going to keep it to the in-person stuff, since I feel like that's more legit. Welp, off the top of my head, in no particular order:

• Jake from the men's team at Nationals '08, toeing the back of the endzone for the score against Colorado, with Pebbles bidding at shoulder level.
• Great Lakes (Great Times) Men's Regional Finals '08, Magnum throws into the endzone for what seems like an uncontested score. I am on the Michigan endzone line, don't see anyone in sight, and then Joel comes flying out of NOWHERE for the layout D. Suck it, allofyou.
  
• Almost anything T-Bag does. But no, seriously, probably during the finals of Regies Bro Nine against Michigan, T-Bagels get this sick nasty layout D, busts downfield and gets just filthy horizontal for an absolutely incredible catch. I think we turned it over soon after, but it was BOWLIN' for sure. What a damn shame that it didn't get caught on camera.
  
• Okay, I liked this one more for the aftermath than for the play: Pebbles over Animal in semis of Nationals '08. Right afterward came a bevy of people shouting about blogging about it, and then someone yelled something along the lines of, "I ALREADY blogged about it!" It might have been because I was delirious, but I thought it was the funniest thing at the moment.
  
• At the Hong Kong tournament, my teammate Donald lays out for a disc, toes the back line of the endzone for the score, and flys into a baseball backstop. It was incredible/scary. I just liked this particular play a lot because it happened during the semis game against Sunken Treasure, when we were making an epic comeback push to make the finals game against Beijing. That game was so epic. I feel like everyone just stepped it up a notch, and I think that's the game that lit the fire again.
  

what are your goals for the team this upcoming fall and spring (besides the obvious) as co-captain.

I think our biggest team goal for this fall will be recruiting. We're losing a pretty big class of impact players, and while it'll be great having Peach and Kimmy D around for the fall, we're going to miss them a LOT come spring time. We're going to need to put a big focus on finding new youngsters, and teaching them how to play, having them ready to contribute come spring. We got a really great start last year, with our establishment of the B-team, but we need more than 7 people on that team. In addition, we've got a lot of players who will need to step up into bigger roles. Hopefully we can use the fall as our learning period. I'll take all the growing pains if it means we're ready to go by Regies.

For the spring, the goals are more clear and a little more difficult. The big picture is this: Go to Nationals, and make a splash. If people doubted us this year, then next year is pretty bleak. Case Western is on the map now, and Michigan is Michigan, and Northwestern is basically graduating no one PLUS picking up a high school player ... so based purely on that, you know, it doesn't look so great for Illinois. I feel like we have our work cut out for us. There is so much to improve on, in every aspect of the game for every player. We have a really long way to go, as a team, before we can expect to be back at Nationals next spring. In addition, (and I'm not particularly looking forward to it) we'll be hitting the gym and the track HARD again, because our fitness, speed, and endurance really benefited us last year.

Personal goal: Break The Curse, if you knowhumsayin'.

if you could marry one ultimate player of each gender, who would they be.

For the sake of creating beastly ultimate children, I'd probably marry Jolian Dahl or Gwen Ambler. Both are significantly taller than me, thereby canceling out my short genes, and both are all-around BEASTS at ultimate.

If you're talking who I'd marry on some Match Diesel stuff ... yikes. I'll have to get back to you on that one; I feel like I need to put a lot of thought into it.

In-N-Out burger or Wendy's

Without a doubt, In-N-Out burger. I only get to eat In-N-Out like once a year, but I would still rank it up there as one of my favorite burgers of all time. A double-double with extra spread and animal style fries? Please.

Layout D or Offsive layout grab

Layout D. I feel like there's less coordination involved. You could just fall over, as long as it disrupts your person from getting the disc. I just don't have the hand-eye coordination or any coordination, really, necessary for making offensive layout grabs.
(I purposely didn't correct Megan's spelling so you could see how delirious she was when she sent the e-mail)

East coast ultimate or West Coast ultimate

Well, I don't want to flaunt my ignorance, so I won't choose one over the other. I'm still learning the game, so I don't know much about the differences between the two styles.

Baller Bids or "insert tournament' cuties

Haha, well I think ______ Cuties is funnier and more entertaining for everyone involved. Baller Bids are cool, but I think its meaning has been lost. I first put up Baller Bids to reward kids who were laying out, but now that most everyone does it, I think people are focusing more on the "baller" part than the "bids" part, turning Baller Bids into "who played the best that weekend?", and I just can't come up with a snappy name for that. Meh.

what do you think could be/should be the biggest change to the sport to either make it better or help it grow?

I think the biggest thing we can do for our sport is to put a great deal of our efforts into developing youth ultimate. I think building strong high school programs across the country, and not just in specific hotbeds, would foster a great deal of interest and support from the bottom up. Kids and their parents start getting into it early, start networking early. When the youth/high school structure is all figured out, then move up to platforms like college and maybe even professional one day. This would also make our sport better, with an influx of players into the college game who already know how to play. It makes it more competitive, more exciting. I guess then someone would point out that one of the coolest things about the sport is that you can get into it without ever having played before, but I don't necessarily think that not having played before puts you at a disadvantage. I know a number of people who never played before college who are sick NASTY now (prime example: T-Bagels). And what's this about women's ultimate having a shot as a Div. I sport? I forget where I read a little bit about it, but intriguing.


From Jane:
1. Which team is going to be the biggest surprise next year (aka the next UPenn)?

For biased reasons, I'm very tempted to say Duke or NYU, just because I know that Murrles and T-Bag will make a splash wherever they go. But seriously, I'm thinking "the next UPenn" will come from either the ME or the NE. I say that because I'm always surprised by what happens in those regions, probably just because I know so little about them. Eh, all my predictions are almost always wrong anyhow, so I'll take a shot in the dark and say that NYU will be back on the scene this spring. Ottawa will keep a stranglehold on one of the Natties bids, but I think the other one is up for grabs. I'm not sure what Maryland's graduation status is (anyone care to fill me in?), but NYU's got FOTES-bag Fiona McKibben and all. Emily Franzen played with Wicked, right? I'm sure a bunch of other NYU girls play for some of those great northeastern club teams, too.

2. Were your jerseys this year inspired by Budget Rent A Truck?

Funny you should make this comparison. Other than the fact that those jerseys carry many a wide load (read: me and my mid-section), the answer is no.

Our team actually had a very lengthy discussion about new jerseys in the spring of '08, and many, many designs were brought up and debated at length. See, I wanted black-on-black jerseys, with an image of a person laying out into a coffin. I feel like that would have been cooler. Teams would have seen it and been like "Aw SOMD I gotta play this team?" Then we'd desecrate them, with our black nail polish and our animal tattoos. Yeah.

3. Do you squeeze your toothpaste from the end of the tube or from the middle?

Please, from the end. I'm not a beast.

4. Of all the teams you've ever played against, which is the most attractive?

Well, I guess this really depends on your opinion of what is "more" attractive, cute or hot. I've done this debate in my head for a long time. I mean, a long time. Maybe for an uncomfortably long time. But anyway, I guess I don't think one is "more" attractive than the other, so I take both into account. But in any case, I guess I'll go with UCSB. We decided at Nationals that none of them are cute -- they're all hot. Tall, leggy, athletic. Just a whole lotta yikes situations, in the best way possible. Wisconsin and USC are also just a whole mess of cute. I mean, just hand clutching your chest, heart skips a beat, "Bless your heart!"-cute.

5. When can we expect Natties Cutie '09?

Welp ...


From Erin:
1. Who would you want to serenade you with a song?

I've thought about this a lot.
1. Beyonss. Do I need to give reasoning? Or should we just watch the "If I Were A Boy" video together?
2. John Legend. I'm just saying that I might actually die if he did.
3. Al Green. Even after "Love in this Club" and "Ignition (remix)", I still think "Let's Stay Together" is one of the best songs of all time.
4. Ben Gibbard, because the little emo in me would soil myself with excitement, and also because when I was a sophomore in high school, I think I might have listened to "Carolina" on repeat at least 300 times. DCFC, Postal Service, All-Time Quarterback, Dntel ... I love it all, as long as Ben Gibbard is involved.
5. Lauryn Hill. Too bad she's in a cult or whatever.
6. Jenny Lewis. I feel like I've girl-crushed her since, what? Freshman year of high school? This would be a dream come true. And with the exception of the weekend right before the LSAT, I have NEVER missed any of her shows in Chicago. True story.
7. Tegan and/or Sara. Love them.
8. Sara Bareilles. Adorable, and talented to boot.
9. Ben Harper. I would mostly just look.
10. Sam Hart. Don't judge that I'm a nerd.

But if they're not available, I have back-up plans:

If she's drunk, I'll take a flute serenade from Murrles Kim.
If it's a Sean Kingston or Aerosmith song, I'll take a serenade from Tania Reitz.
Because I know at least five people who will find this hilarious: I'll take a serenade from Ne-Yo, what the hell. (So I just watched the "So Sick" video -- explain to me why it's HILARIOUS. Snow-capped mountains? Really? Snowball fight? What is this, live-action "Beauty and the Beast"? C'mon, Hype Williams.)

2. Just how thirsty are you?

I'm preeeeeeeeetty thirsty.

Like deciding to give up beer on Unofficial weekend thirsty. Like eating PB Sushi's Spicy Tuna roll with mounds of wasabi but no water thirsty. Like watching "The L Word" in the backseat of Margaret's car at Peach's house thirsty. I'm so thirsty, every second I spend in the general public is an on-going game of Who Would You Rather/Would You Do. I'm so thirsty, at least 97% of the texts on TFLN could have been sent/received by me. I'm so thirsty, I know all the photos that would come up on Google Image Search if you searched "Rashida Jones". I'm so thirsty I need to take it all the way back, American Idol-style:

Weezy?
I wanted more than just an ordinary life. All of my dreams seemed like castles in the sky. I stand before you, and my heart was in your hands. And I don't know how I survived without your ass, cause you've given me a reason to exist. I never lived before your love. I never felt before your touch. I never needed anyone to make me feel alive. But then again, I wasn't really living. I never lived before your love.

Love you, Weezskis.

I'm so thirsty, sometimes I think about all the deliciously ethnic babies I'm going to have one day. Because that's what my babies will be: deliciously, undeniably ethnic. And not in the wholesies kind of way. Nope, no wholesies. They're going to be beautiful. I can't wait.

3. Kill, Marry, Fuck: Alice, Carmen, Tasha?

Fuck Carmen. Marry Alice. Kill Tasha. Here's my reasoning:

HAVE YOU SEEN CARMEN?! Good Christ. That's God at work. Carmen's ass is how I know there's a higher power. Not one physical flaw! SOMD. S. O. M. D. I would marry Alice, who is HILARIOUS, and would make for one endlessly entertaining, knee-slappingly hysterical, bat-shit crazy marriage. And so I guess I'd have to kill Tasha. SORRY ALEXIS. It's not my fault you're thirstier than the day is long and you watched all of The L Word without me so I have no idea who Tasha is, except she's fine, apparently (I will most likely agree/thirst with you).

_____________________________
In other news, my life is a mess. I'm trying this "correcting my sleep cycle" thing, so I've been going to bed "earlier" and waking up "earlier", and it leaves me with entire mornings to do nothing but avoid studying and running (I run a marathon in about two months. I couldn't have trained less). So I'm sitting in my empty house listening to "The Score" (I NEED The Fugees to get back together. I know it'll never happen, but I'll keep holding onto hope) and rewatching the entire "30 Rock" series.

I just need the fall season to start so I can start making tourney week statuses again, and so that my buddy Phil from China and I can be reunited! It's unbelievable how far the ultimate community has spread. I saw Robin, who I played with in China, at Nationals this year, and I tried out for Nemesis with Momo, who is from Shanghai and knows some of the people I played with. Maybe Phil will be the next CUT phenomenon, and I'll give him my backing any day -- the kid is good. Ah, I can't wait.

In any case, I leave you with this:
(980): you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all